Right Where God Wants Me (I think)

Holy Week has begun.


"Then they crucified him." -Mark 15:24

Last week, in my "Little Black Book" (a daily reflection book) it talked about this verse in the bible. It talked about how nowadays, if this happened, there would be news coverage and we would see all the details. There would be reporters all over Golgotha, helicopters overhead, and those reporters would be interviewing all passers-by. We would hear everything and see everything. But the Gospels don't describe things in that detail. all they say is "Then they crucified him." Most people in those days had seen crucifixions and didn't need those details. "Then they crucified him." is all they needed.


That word gives me chills. Crucify. It's a chilling word. During the Passion narrative it always, I guess the best way to describe it is, it always hurts my ears to hear "Crucify him! Crucify him!".


I was recently asked "How is your lent going?" I grimaced and said "well, not the way I'd like it to be going..." She looked at me and looked at the sacrifice jar and the kiddos coloring path to Easter and I could tell she didn't get it.


For the kids, I think lent was great. We didn't do as many things as I'd have liked to have done, but we did do alot.


For me though, I wanted it to be more....fruitful. I wanted to have prayed more, to have gone to daily Mass, gone to Adoration, you know, the things that I should be striving to do anyway, always, not just during lent.


This is the yearning I always seem to have. The yearning to be holy and do holy things. I look back at last year's lent. I was pregnant with a broken leg. God laid it out for me. He humbled me. He gave me my lent. He helped me to appreciate so many things in my life. Things like cleaning my own home, preparing meals, walking to the park, giving my littles baths, driving, shopping, and LAUNDRY!!


This is where I am right now, in the midst of these menial seeming tasks. With 5 children growing and changing with each season. This is where God wants me right now.


Last night, I sat down to nurse Sweetie Pie and watch The Passion of the Christ. It was to the part where Jesus was almost breathing His last breath, the part where I have a big headache from crying so much. Here I am thinking "I'm starting my holy week great, I'm getting into the mode of sacrifice. Jesus is going to be on my mind. This is good."


Well, Ballerina Rosie (my 7 1/2 year old) comes down sits on the floor (I shut off the movie) and says "my back hurts." (I now know, she meant "tummy") I said, (thinking she just wants to be up with me and wants to watch the movie I won't let her watch), "Honey, sitting on the floor is not going to help it, go back to bed." She runs up the stairs. I start my movie again, within 30 seconds, I heard her jump out of her bed again, go to the stairs and then I heard a weird splash sound, followed by "I threw up!" I jumped up, ripping Sweetie from my breast, and trying to cover up, ran to the stairs, to find my daughter sitting on 2nd step from the top. I commanded "get in the bathroom!" I barely got that out, when she did it again.


OK, here's where sinful me appears in full glory. I got mad. I yelled. I was not compassionate. I would have been compassionate if she'd made it to the bathroom for the 2nd time, but 2 times in the exact spot? I just couldn't understand why my almost 8 year old couldn't make it to the bathroom, why common sense didn't tell her to do so. Now, I said she was at the 2nd step, right? There was lots of puke on the next 3 steps, (lots) and puke on every step all the way down to the bottom, puke on the wall and on every spindle, yes EVERY spindle.

She got to the bathroom for the 3rd time. She had puke on her clothes, in her hair and well, she needed a shower, so while she showered, I tried to start. Sweetie Pie is crying the whole time for this. I start to get madder and madder. I had asked my husband to get up to help. I meant with the baby, he should know that! OK, she only stops crying if I'm holding her, but I am splattered with puke. I have a mess to clean up. I commanded hubby to clean the floor at the bottom of the stairs and the wall. While I tried to get every other step. I'm starting to get madder, "Why did he buy the kids that candy at the circus we went to tonight? I never buy the kids candy? Why am I the only one that can stop the baby from crying? Why do I have to clean up all of this? I was watching a movie about Jesus! Why is this happening? Why don't I feel remorse for the way I am yelling and acting?"


Well, after cleanup & showers, Ballerina Rosie settled with a bucket and sleeping bag on our floor & baby nursing at breast, it was 1am. I still was not feeling any remorse. I still was asking "why?" I was asking "what do You want from me Lord for holy week?" and "Help me to not be angry with my husband, he was just staying away from my tantrum!" No answers. I knew I just had to go to sleep and take what came the next day. Today.


While feeding the baby again this morning, about 10am, I realized (OK, I'm a little slow), that God wants me right where I am. In the midst of it all. Lent and holy week are not what I want them to be, they are what God wants them to be. I am reminded now every time I use the stairs and have to smell the nasty smell (working on fixing that one), and look at my stained carpet, that God wants me right here. Right where I am. Striving always to do better, to keep that yearning alive because "our hearts are restless til they rest with God"


Today.
Today I am hugging my almost 8 year old girl just a little more. And I am anxiously awaiting for my husband to come home for a hug and an apology.


I wish you holiness this week, the holiest week of the year. May you find yourself right where God wants you to be. (hopefully without the puke)

Christine's Baby Shower!

Here's Christine, Ava, (aren't they beautiful?) me (looking so very haggard) and Sweetie Pie
Christine (her other daughter "Anne" next to her)

My theme was PINK
Recipe HERE

The guest of honor all in PINK
smiling at her mama!

Christine brought Sweetie Pie one of those cute flower bands too!

Christine nursed and nursed and nursed. She's so beautiful!

Her nursing shawl was made by Melissa.
It was a fun night with our book club ladies!

Christine was so humble and deserving of this it was my pleasure to host for her!

A shower of blessings!

7 Months!

I can't believe my sweet babe is 7 months.....last night someone asked me how old she was and I said "6 months....oh, wait, on the 24th she was....7 months!" "I missed it!"

The time is just going too fast for me and I'm trying to enjoy every minute of it.
She's not crawling yet, but scooting, rolling and pushing until she runs into things and can't go any further!
I'll try to get pictures from Christine's shower sometime.....soon!

Wordless Wednesday (almost)

Someone's clothes are waiting for the Spring flood!

Some Movie Reviews!

We watched this one a couple weeks ago. I think it's a couple years old. It had a couple off comments, but overall, it was a pretty funny, yet serious movie. I loved the ending, (the very end). I thought Meg Ryan and Timothy Hutton were great together.
This movie was a little more serious. I love movies that show how it was just 50 years ago, amazing to see how far we've come. Sad to see how prejudice the world was. I thought the acting was wonderful in this movie.
*An interesting side note: The movie takes place in the summer, but it is actually winter, so these actors do an excellent job of pretending it's warm outside! Watch the extras on the DVD!

This movie was a little boring, OK, a lot boring, but, I found it interesting at the same time. It's the story of John Keats, the now famous poet. It's amazing to see how he struggled and shows how many artists and poets gave us fine art and yet were not famous until years after their deaths. Kind of like Saints, huh? (although I'm not comparing him to a saint)

The profound love was heartfelt during the movie.

Warning: NOT a movie for the hubby and if you want a movie to lift your spirits, don't watch this one, it's pretty sad through the whole thing.

Wow, why don't you want to watch this after reading that review?

Sorry.

I watched this movie this weekend with Ballerina Rosie. I LOVED it!! It is a remake of the old Ice Castles....starring Robbie Benson....gotta watch that one next!

Very good, but again, probably not a movie for the hubby!

The skaters in this movie are not actors, but did a wonderful job, I would have never guessed that. Can you tell I love the extras on DVD's?

3 Minnesota Moms!

The "real Minnesota Mom" came to visit us MN Moms up north!

Look at me in the middle, trying to scrunch down, I'm an amazon woman next to these petite women! Look at Sweetie Pie's ears, aren't they cute?

Really, Margaret is very sweet and down to earth, being the celebrity blogger she is.

Once she's here, you really forget how cool she is in blog world.

(that didn't really come out the way I intended it)

What I mean is she's just a mom trying to get through her busy days raising godly children, just like the rest of us.

For the feast of St Joseph, we made a version of Barbara's St Joe Cupcakes

Our filling was an easy way out for me, I used Cool Whip mixed with sugar free raspberry jello powder, to add flavor and color. (also, I have girls who do not like "chunks")

Here are our girls hitting it off doing "construction work" on their cupcakes!

Babycakes here showing her "sprinkled" powdered sugar!

She kept calling Margaret's little Angela "the little sister".
Boys, Legos, Bionicles and Pizza!
Christine's little boy was there too....darn, no picture though, sorry Kissteen!

Little Anthony really is as cute in person as on her blog, even in a girl tee.

Lots of girls loving the newest baby, here's Ava only a month old!

It was a great time, bringing some joy into our dry Lent.

It's amazing how much blogging brings to our lives. Without it, it's lonely out there on our own. We stay at home moms have created this blog community of support and friends and it really helps us on our journey in our motherhood and womanhood.

I sure am glad I'm a stay at home mom now and not 15 years ago when there was not this online support. Where else can a woman wear the same shirt for 3 days, not see anyone outside her own family in that time, yet feel so complete, happy and unlonely?

Blog-World, that's where.

Lent has been a good time to reflect on the good and bad of blogging. (as in everything)

I regret tainting our visit by gossiping about someone and must apologize to my 2 friends. I'm so aware of those things when they happen and it has been bothering me since. I'm sorry my friends for that.

Another thing I'd like to say or retract is that when a woman turns 40, it IS ok to do something cool to make yourself feel cool. I was wrong. We should celebrate every age and every year.

To me, it's just another year, but to someone else, it's much more and we should lift people up, not tear them down.

See? I have such a huge conscience. Those 2 things have been bothering me since Friday.

Oh, I have so many things I want to blog about, but not the time to do it!

I have a few posts in my head....I'll try to get the movie reviews out today!

How Long?

I got this Pussy Willow at Sam's Club for only like $3, but now I'm wondering how long those willows will stay on with very curious, soft thing loving, little girls I have?

Busy, (Almost ok, not) Wordless Wednesday!

All the snow is melted! Yahoo!!! (new header picture maybe?)
Cards made and sent! Baby shower for someone...

Green paint....

Green Bread....(recipe here)

Irish Brown Bread in oven....(recipe here)

Lots of kisses....open mouth, slobbery, baby kisses!

Happy St Patrick's Day everyone!

Yes, I'm Irish! (Less than 1/4 though)

Hubby is not. SO, the kiddos have very minimum Irish in them....but it's there!

We are all wearing green today!

Future Beautition?

Well, I think the correct word is now "Stylist". My dear husband was not very happy to find so many of these fairly new Barbies with new hair cuts.

This certain 5 year old's explanation was "We don't have any short hair Barbies!"

--For my Barbie explanation click here--

For now, all scissors are up high or locked in a cabinet.

Other form of punishment: cutting her hair!
See? She's devastated.




OK, she's been asking for a haircut for weeks now and I finally gave in.
I have to admit, it fits her. Maybe if I'd cut her hair sooner, the Barbies would have been spared their hair cuts?

Daylight Savings!

Love the daylight.

Hate the change.

Crabby kids

Screaming baby

Unorganized, tired Mama

Please who ever is in charge of changing the times in each state, can we please keep the time the same now....forever?

My Dear, Sweet, Child!

Oh, how many times I remind my dear son to empty the garbage, sweep the floor, clear the table and numerous other duties that obviously bug me more than him.


A couple weeks ago, he asked me if I was mad at him. I said "no, but I do get frustrated when I have to remind you several times to do your jobs." (he's very sensitive and does not ever want anyone mad at him) He then said "Well, you sound mad."


He's right. When this bossy mama tells the kiddos to do their jobs, I do "sound mad". I don't want to "sound mad".


SO, that night, I started saying "Jedi, come sweep the floor, my dear, sweet, child." He comes right away and laughs and calls me "my dear sweet mother" (which I love).


Try to say this, "my dear, sweet, child". I guarantee you can't say it in anger. It's just impossible.

10 on the 10th in 2010!

My oldest is out of the single digits today!! How fast he's grown. He will always be our "miracle" baby, after 3 years of infertility, he was our blessing. (they all are!) What a special day, so many 10's, once in a lifetime thing! When I think of Jedi, these are some of the things I think of and smile about:

Firstborn, preemie baby, 28 days in the hospital before birth, only boy, big blue eyes, Nano-nut, clean kid, no food touching, no brown food, kisses only for mama and baby sisters, dinosaurs, early reader, St Nicholas, Science, garlic, my dear, sweet, child, (inside joke, I'll tell you later) Gardetto's snack mix, cub scouts, Weebelos, earning badges, one-on-one kid, playing games, made up games, collector, army men, swimming, Bionicles, Kung Fu, piano, BMX, Legos, Balsamic Ravioli, Magnifikid, Pieta memorized, serious, (yet) funny, goofy, jokester, little gentleman, sensitive, caring, loving, initials on shirts of characters you draw, Shel Silverstein poem books, reading Narnia and other book series with daddy, reading on the porch, same age as the year, the year 2000, glasses, wrestling, wrestling with your sisters, "hide and geek", soup for lunch, chunky yogurts, shy, blue, old comic books, Wookies, Wookie room, sweeping, "be the soup", "Nitty", the garbage is calling you, Yousa and Meesa, pizza and Pizza Ranch, the bench by the wall, of course, ANYTHING STAR WARS!!!!, and so many more things, I could go on forever...but I won't! (well, maybe I will but not in this post!)

I can't wait to see what God has planned for you Jedi, you are a great kid and we are blessed!

This is the dessert he picked, it's Christine's recipe! Ice cream sandwiches layered in a cake pan, covered with whipped topping and toffee bits, then put into the freezer. We made a double layer batch, but you can also single layer it. This dessert does not taste like ice cream sandwiches, it tastes more homemade than that! He didn't want a "theme" birthday this year...he's growing up! (Oops, something happened to the finished product...it's up there, way above this part of the post....I can never get them to line up side by side....)

I always make the kiddos home-made cards and I was up way too late making this one, but I think it fits his personality perfectly, goofy letters talking! I also blew up 30 balloons and put them in his room to surprise him this morning!

This is one of his cards from Ballerina Rosie, it just warmed my heart, on the front she wrote "Happy Gloden Birthday!" (golden) She spent all her money (except 10% she gave to church) to buy him 2 Bionicles. She insisted and couldn't wait to go buy them for him.

I love the love he gets from his sisters, he is so very blessed to have 4 little sisters!

He has a friend coming today to play and we have company tonight for supper....so I'm off!

Love, love, love. It's a special day!

Beautiful Baby....

Beautiful baby, can you please stay like this forever?
Please pretty profile?

It's been a balmy 40+ degrees here in MN, perfect snowman making weather!

I always find it so funny in movies how they always can make snowmen when it snows. In actuality, you have to have a certain type of snow, sun and temp!

Which we happily have right now!

Have a great weekend everyone!

I've left you with a few posts to read....

This Weeks Art Projects

We were inspired by Art Projects for Kids for this project.

La Boca Houses
We have a crimper, lots of kids, lots of paper and lots of creativity!
Here they are all lined up, like a neighborhood!

I recently found another great art resource here! And she's from MN!

We used acrylic paint and tinted and shaded using their chosen color and white and black paint.

We got very interesting results!

Babycakes (age 3 1/2) did soooo good! I did draw her rectangles in pencil so she could do buildings too.

Another one of her projects was Echo Flowers!

These were really fun!

Bubbles and Possums!

Margaret posted her recipe for bubbles and we couldn't wait to make our own!
Now, I need to go get some dishsoap though....

This is the "oops, I just tasted the bubbles!" look.

Our bubble play was interrupted by an opossum siting!!

I didn't get a front shot of him, but he was quite cute and not afraid at all. (which is kind of scary) I told them not to get too close. (at one time they were 2 feet away and he stopped and looked at them, I yelled "get away from him!") Later we read that opossums actually hiss and spray a foul smelling odor at attackers!!!