Sunday, April 6, 2008

The Real World

We had dinner at a work associates of my husbands yesterday afternoon. She and my husband and his partner are going into business together, by helping her start up hers. My husband is a LADC, Licensed Drug and Alcohol Counselor, and runs/owns a halfway home for men. It is a 90 day program for men who have already gone through treatment and are sober. This program gets them set up in jobs, daily living, AA groups, using the bus line, well, just life. There are all kinds of men that come through. They are your neighbor, your son, your father, your husband, your fellow co-workers, people you know from church, school, stores, judges, lawyers, pretty much anyone across the line could be in a situation like the men my husband counsels. They are in the planning of starting a women's halfway home.
This woman just lost a baby about 6 or 7 weeks ago, at 20 weeks. She just started back to work. I had not met her until last night. They did not seem religious at all, at least not by our observations. (maybe they are, I will give the benefit of the doubt) Which, I suppose is the way most people are. I just never put myself in that situation that much, I surround myself with people with the same values and morals as we have. It's weird, I was very uncomfortable. I wanted to say something to her about the baby she recently lost, but there was not a moment where we were alone, and I had prayed to the Holy Spirit, and the time was never right to do so. Which makes the faith thing more real, or made me really see the barrier. Faith binds us so close. If this were any one of my fellow bloggers, or homeschool friends, even if it were someone I had just met, the bond is Jesus, the bond is there and it would have been talked about. No mealtime prayers were said. No talk of God or church or anything substantial for building a friendship. A True friendship. The kind we yearn for.
I could not help but compare the 2 women. Katie, who just had an abortion at 18 weeks, killing her own child, and this woman last night who lost her baby at 20 weeks. I know those babies are together in total Love. But the 2 situations could not be more different. One baby loved, the other despised for not being perfect. It has been a hard weekend.
What was really hard about the baby who was aborted, Brady, was it was in the newspaper, it was listed as "who died at birth." What? Died? You mean murdered, right? It has been hard seeing this as the real world sees it, as some kind of mercy killing. Something good. It was NOT. How can they have an obituary? I am glad the baby was buried. I keep thinking of a different situation. What if a pregnant woman, let's say 18 weeks along, was attacked and her baby was killed in the attack. The man who attacked her would be in prison for the murder of the child in her womb. (and rightfully so) Yet, a woman who wants to kill her own child in her womb can do so without any consequence, at any time. I guess that is not totally true, because our God is a Just God. (so there is consequence) I am just having a hard time thinking straight. It just makes me want to cry. This real world we live in.
I pray for these women mentioned in my post. I pray for Gods healing Mercy on them in whatever way is needed. I pray for Gods healing Mercy on us, who take it all to heart, to let it go and let Him take care of it.
Lord, have Mercy on us. Help us to live in this real world. Do with us what You want us to do.


  1. Thank you so much for sharing this story with us! I too try to surround myself with those of similar beliefs, and every once in awhile I am just shocked at the "real world!"

    Those poor women. It is so hard to lose a baby... But I couldn't even imagine having the guilt of an abortion. Abortion is such a horrible horrible thing. It just amazes me how some hospitals can kill babies on one floor, and save babies on the other (in icu) of the same age. How can they possibly live with themselves? Especially with all the knowledge we now have about life in the womb, including ultrasounds. During the year I spent at Christendom college, one of the guest speakers was Dr. Bernard Nathanson. He was actually one of the people who worked so hard to legalize abortion. In fact, he even performed the abortion on his own child. The wonderful thing is that he has HAS converted, and is now not only Catholic, but also a staunch supporter of the pro-life movement. My point is, we just need to KEEP PRAYING for these people, there is hope!! With God all things are possible!

  2. It is hard to not lose hope with our world. It's especially frustrating when you are personally involved (even just by praying). Our medical community is to be blamed for much, as they have bought into the liberal way of thinking about a fetus. But when you can't convince a woman that it is worthwhile to carry her baby to term and love him for every minute, even if in all likelihood that baby will die, it does make you want to cry. How can a mother abandon her child?

    A woman from our church who runs the knitting ministry recently emailed everyone on the committee (since I'm on the committee I received it) asking for prayers for her stepdaughter who was going through the same situation. I responded saying that if her stepdaughter was Catholic to please encourage her to talk to a priest. She later responded that the woman did speak to a priest and still had the abortion. I was aghast. She either didn't listen or the priest gave her "permission" (which, sadly, wouldn't surprise me).

    Sometimes the only thing you can do is pray. Pray hard.

  3. Jamie - my thoughts are the same. I have had a hard time not thinking about anything else. I feel helplessness creeping in and I just need hope. We need to just hug our children, love our husbands and do the best we can.

    We support organizations that are pro-life..etc....

    I hope you had a good weekend.

    Glad to see you like Blink!

  4. Oh My Gosh! I can't believe that Brady had an obit in the paper. UNREAL that they do that.

    God bless him.

  5. What a sad post to read-only b/c it is true and happens so often; we just aren't aware of it. We could easily be overcome with despair if our faith didn't hold us up. So many people blindly go about life w/o knowledge of what they are doing. Listening to the so-called experts and the tide of public opinion. Our country will be judged harshly I fear for our stand on abortions (if it hasn't already). Can you tell this is a sore subject with me? Nerm

  6. Jamie, this heartfelt post really resonated with me. I can sympathize with your wanting to connect with others on a spiritual level...and just not knowing how. It is so sad to enter another's house and not see any sign of God's presence.

    And Katie's decision is absolutely heart-breaking.


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