Thursday, July 24, 2008

Mother Mary, Help Me

This is a favorite prayer of mine that I save for those times in need. Those sad or lonely or desperate or just in those times of trial.
Holy Queen, mother of mothers,
consolation and protectress of all Christian motherhood,
Mother Mary, help me.
In all the trials and sorrows that come into my day,
Dear Mary, help me.
When I am tired with my labors and despondency is upon me,
Dear Mary, help me.
When all looks dark and I find none to speak a consoling or cheering word,
Dear Mary, help me.
When I am wearied by the weight of countless vexing little things and my patience is sorely tried,
Dear Mary, help me.
In the impatience and rudeness of others, by the example of your mildness,
Dear Mary, help me.
When others speak sharply to me and I would speak harshly in return, that I may show the gentleness of you own kindly speech,
Dear Mary, help me.
When my efforts seem to bear so much little fruit and to be so little appreciated and I am discouraged,
Dear Mary, help me.
When a thousand worrisome distractions and annoyances come into my day and it seems so hard to keep my peace of heart,
Dear Mary, help me.
When all others seem to fail, then especially with the sweet support of your gentle aid,
Dear Mary, help me.
In all things, Mother, assist me!
That I may, like you, with patience turn all my trials into spiritual treasures; that I may grow ever more like you, the cherished queen of the most holy family,
Dear Mary, help me!
Tonight in the Adoration chapel, I had one of those nights where all the way there, I was choked up and knew I was going to cry and let it all out and give it to Jesus. I bet I cried for 45 minutes. I'm OK, hey, I was with our Lord. He makes all things new. Sometimes things just need to come out and He is there waiting for us, all of us. Waiting to heal. Waiting to hear what is on your mind. Waiting to forgive. Waiting to listen. Waiting to be heard.
I have evaded to it a little lately. Probably because it is constantly on my mind. SO I am just going to say it. My parents have left the Roman Catholic Church and now belong to the SSPX. There, I said it. I am not even going to link it because it is not worthy of linkage in my mind. Now please do NOT send me comments trying to give me your side of why you might think the Society is right, because I will disagree to the end. I will die for this faith that I have. This faith that is headed by Jesus Christ. This Faith that has the Chair of St Peter. That is where I will stay forever. Where Peter is, there I will be also.
I am just venting I guess what is on my mind. My parents left almost 2 years ago and you'd think it would be easier. But it is harder. My daughter, Ballerina Rosie is asking questions, as is Jedi. My parents of course think they are right and have no problems telling the kids and well, it just makes things really, really hard. I just don't understand how they can out right say "we are not in full communion with the Holy Father." Yet at the same time say they are not against him. Well, I tell you, their newspapers they have sent to our home are all against the Holy Father with their negative articles.
I know the Roman Catholic Church has some liberal issues, but I DO believe it is getting better. I have hope. I think we that stay are the persecuted, we want it like they have it, we want the reverance, we want it all, but we are waiting for it to be done right, through the Holy Father. With the Holy Father.
My parents have changed, they are SO different. Not in a better way. In a weird way. In a Johovahs Witness kind of way. (for lack of a better way to say it) It is their life. Their life revolves around their religion, and trying to save us "new Mass people" and my life revolves around my faith, my husband and teaching my children.
Along with my parents are my little sister and one of my brothers. I know God wants me to stand firm, stay the course. But it is hard without family. It is hard not really knowing them anymore. They are all 4 Godparents to some of my children.
Through my whole conversion, I had the support of my family, they had a sort of conversion also at the same time, we were in it together. Now it feels lonely. Not many people will even know what I'm talking about here. Not many people know the difference between them and us. That is one of those hard things. Because they call themselves Catholic, it deceives others who maybe don't know their faith as much. I have aunts and uncles who I'm sure don't think there is anything wrong and they think "wow, they are really pius and holy" I'm made to look as if I've done something wrong, when I am the one who is firm in my faith.
I am just trying to keep it a little real here, I am just a normal person with problems like anyone else. We all have our sorrows. We all have our little crosses in life.
Dear Lord, thank You for our crosses in life. Help us to carry them. Help us to do with them what You want us to do. Lord, Make us Saints!

13 comments:

  1. I love that prayer!
    I have some idea but no idea what the SSPX is, to be honest. I have run into folks who "are more Catholic than the Pope" . . . good intentions and all that. All we can do is stand firm with the Pope. The Church will endure.

    So will you.

    Hang in there. Keep availing yourself to the Sacraments. You are a blessing to me, and, I dare say many who come by here. God bless you!

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  2. Thanks for sharing this with us.
    I am the only Catholic among my extended family, so I know the feeling somewhat. But, it must be a whole different thing with all of the different factors you have- the fact that they have converted and also that the SSPX and the Church are so similar.
    I very much admire your strength and conviction.

    Also, funny to see my mailbox this morning! :)

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  3. That's a beautiful prayer, Jamie, filled with the desperation that I'm certain you must be feeling. How many times we feel so desperate! I am sorry for your pain and I will remember you in prayer.

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  4. Jamie - hugs.

    Pray that your parents always seek the Truth. Really that's a prayer for each one of us.

    If they do, they will eventually realize they must submit to our Holy Father, he is the Vicar of Christ on earth. Our Pope wants communion with the SSPX as he too loves the traditional Mass, but according to Church teaching we are not to attend their Mass eventhough it is valid as are it's Sacraments...it is not LICIT. Read Spirit of the Liturgy by Cardinal Ratzinger.

    We must stay with the Barque of Peter and suffer through this time of loose Mass/loose theology, like you said...it is our cross.

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  5. All I know to say is I will pray for you. I know what SSPX is and I am so sorry for you.
    God bless

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  7. Oh Jamie! I am so sorry! I can only imagine how difficult this is for you! You and your parents are in my prayers. {{{hugs}}}

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  8. First of all, thank you all for you prayers. I was at a weak moment and blogged about it. It is nice to share with friends though. So thank you so very much!

    Melissa, SSPX are not excommunicated. I do not know all the documents, all the details enough to put it into words, but I do know they are not anymore. The Holy Father IS infallible but only on (I'm probably using the wrong words here, help Jessica?) matters of the Faith, only certain times, he is still human, he still makes mistakes.

    The way I understand it is JPII in a moment of anger excommunicated them but I think (and I may be wrong) they are not because of the reason he did it. I don't know the details, probably because I don't really care. It's always one of my parents points. I do believe they are not excommunicated, they are not in schism, but they are NOT in union with the Holy Father, and that is what matters to me, not all the documents.

    I had to laugh when you said "evangilize" and that you said I should talk with them...Over the last 2 years, I cannot even count the arguments we've had. I cannot even count how many times I have asked to not talk about it, to just talk about other things. But, it is in the course of their conversation. They cannot not talk about it.

    Because of the constant arguing, I have stayed away as much as I can. I have gone from talking to my mom almost every day to barely every couple weeks (and that usually ends in argument) and "stopping by" for Mother's day, or birthdays. It's awkward, it's hard, it's part of why it is so lonely.

    I'm not perfect in this, if anyone knows me, I pretty much speak my mind. Some of the arguments, I'd say in the first year, were started by me. But this past year, I've really, really tried to not argue. (it does no good) My dad loves a good argument. I hate them now. I get sick to my stomach thinking about visiting and possibly/probably arguing.

    My parents, believe me, know everything about the faith. That is one of the hardest parts. There is a book called "Holier than the Pope" or something like that, I read it, and really liked it, but when I asked them to read it, they argued that the man who wrote it has hated the SSPX for years and is trying to destroy them. I did not get this from him. He seemed very fair and just gave the facts and I did not sense any anger in his writing. They have a justification for everything. Everything. They are very indoctrined.

    The Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary, they do not believe in them, they think if Mary wanted them, she would have told them to St Dominic the first time around, not some Holy Father. I just don't understand that. Yet on the other hand, they do belive in Divine Mercy and follow it on the side, because their church cannot celebrate it.

    My parents were reading "The Wanderer" Catholic newspaper. (if anyone knows it, it is a good newspaper, but very very negative sometimes) to reading "Catholic Family News" which is a PiusX newspaper. There was his in, the Devils' in. I believe.

    I have what everyone else has family who has left the faith, family who is Catholic in name only, (lukewarm) and now this.

    I wrote way too much here...
    thank you all for your prayers.

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  9. That Marian prayer in the beginning is one of my favorite prayers. I found it in a book of prayers for mothers that my mother gave me.

    As for what you're going through with your family, I'm sorry for the heartbreak and sorry. My DH's grandfather has had some history with them in the past, and it caused a lot of tension in the family, because he brought on of my brother in laws into it. I believe it's better now, but I know he still harbors some resentment to the "new" post Vatician way of things. Could be why he only attends the Latin Rite. I couldn't help, while reading your post, to call to mind the Gospel about families being pitted against one another for the faith. For whatever reason, this is your cross, and you are doing a wonderful job in carrying it with grace and dignity. I can't say I understand what you're going through because I can only imagine how hard it must be to be seperated from them that way, and then have to deal with the confusion they may be giving to your children. I will pray for you tonight. Hang in there. And feel free to email me should you need a shoulder to cry on.

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  10. Hi again Jamie -

    Thought of you today when I visited Fr. Zulsdorf's blog, What Does The Prayer Really Say. He is very knowledgable, a former member of Ecclesiae Dei with Vatican ties and he often speaks of the SSPX. Recently he linked to a blog by a FORMER SSPXer who came back! I wonder if your family would read his reasons?

    Still in my prayers....

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  11. http://wdtprs.com/blog/2008/07/on-the-sspx-question-an-interesting-blog-post/

    There's the link Jamie and Father Zuhlsdorf then has a link to the entire post of this SSPXer returned to Rome.

    As to your excellent question about the intent of the priest, perhaps a question back to them... can they really know the intent of anyone, including their SSPX priest? That's for God alone.

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  12. That was a really long but wonderful blog entry you linked to. Thank you! He kind of lost me in the middle, but I totally agree with his conclusion, that "they (SSPX) have created in the long run a false solution to a real problem".

    It is much like the conclusion I came to after a few years of attending SSPX Masses: maybe the Church really is in apostasy, maybe the priestly order of SSPX will finally accept all that Rome tries to offer and maybe even ABL will be canonized. But -- what are we supposed to do in the meantime? Live in a time warp, pine after "the eternal Rome" and live our lives without any voice of legitimate authority? It was just something I couldn't do. I felt that I might as well become protestant.

    I join you in your prayers for your parents. It may take a while for this to run it's course. They may never be quite the same in their affinity for the Holy Father or the New Mass even if they eventually stop going to the SSPX chapel. I don't excuse them in any way, but do encourage you to try to be understanding of where they are coming from. They do have good intentions and a love for their idea of what the Church should be. They mostly likely think they are doing a valiant thing by standing up for the "true faith" and would like nothing more for you to finally see the light. They might even think you want to remain blind to the very real problems in the Church.

    But Jamie, you and I are just humble housewives trying to live holy lives; not scholars or clerics. What can we really do to change things? I do not think that God is going to hold US accountable on judgment day for all the problems in the Church. What we need to do is exactly what you are doing - stay close to your faith and pray. Be the salt of the earth, instead of hiding out in a time warp or seeking a haven from all the goofy things that go on in many Masses.

    I hope someday your parents will recognize the fallacies of the SSPX arguments (excuses) but I suspect they will have to come to it on their own. Try to understand them and treat them with charity but don't try to win any arguments. Draw your lines and refuse to get into the details, but don't hesitate to tell them if you think they are misguided and part of a "false solution to a real problem". Try not to wallow in despair, but trust that the same spirit in them that seeks the truth will continue to seek the truth all the way.

    Blessings and prayers to you and your parents!

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  13. I'm so glad I came across your blog. It is indeed a cross that you carry, but as you do so patiently you will be no doubt winning graces for your parents!
    Know that many are praying for you -- and as you have the Blessed Mother praying for you, you can't lose! :) Stay strong!

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