Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Jon and Kate Plus 8

Does anyone out there watch this show on TLC? I don't watch it regularly, but TLC is one of those channels I always check at night when I'm flipping through, looking for something, and this show is quite often on. So over the past few years, I've gotten to know this family. I caught it last night, part of it anyway. If you do watch this show, you've heard, I'm sure, that Jon, the father was caught with another woman.


Last night, while watching, I kept tearing up, it was just so sad. When they were together, you could feel the tension. You could feel what she was feeling, you could feel what he was feeling.
When they were apart, you could feel the pain and the lonliness. You could see where things probably went wrong, starting with their lives being on national television. Among many other things. Sad things. Controversial things. Things about God. Kate mentioned during the show, the high rate of divorce among parents of multiples. What about the high rate of divorce among parents who contracept or have their tubes tied or have a vasectomy done? Add those things to the equation. How could the marriage survive?


Prayer. That is how it can survive.


I dreamt about them all night and prayed for them the many times I awoke. I couldn't get them off my mind. This TV show has become their income, their business. But I do hope they work things out and realize another way to make it, without putting their lives on television.


I really think prayer is the only way this marriage can survive.

22 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you posted on this. I felt so inclined to as well. I debated about even watching last night's episode, but after all I've seen at the check out aisles at the store I wanted to see how they would approach the whole thing. I too, felt saddened and could read a million emotions in their faces, body language, etc. I have felt really bothered and concerned over it since last night's show. And I've prayed. I also struggle with them repeatedly mentioning that they were doing things 'for the kids' and that seemed to be their only motivation. Never did they mention that they wanted to change things and make them better for their marriage or even that they still loved one another. I saw their hurt and felt it too and yet could not help but feel that at some point they did in fact make a decision to put their lives and their marriage in jeopardy with all of the publicity. And I couldn't help but feel like I held a part in all of that by simply being intrigued by their family for the last few years. Prayers are needed, that's for sure!

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  2. This whole thing saddens me. I am so glad you wrote about it. I, too, have been praying for them. I, too, picked up on the repeated, "for the kids", but their marriage should be a part of that as well...so sad!

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  3. Prayer is the only way ANY marriage can survive.

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  4. I've never seen this show, but since having my twins, I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "Have you seen Jon and Kate Plus 8? No? Oh, you have to see it." I think people felt like I would be able to find comfort in watching their family, since we have multiples, too.

    I usually feel a connection to other parents of multiples, as if they "get" what I'm going through without having to explain myself, because they've been there, too. But I always wondered about this show ... In a way, I thought it was good, as it promoted big families. But I also heard they argued a lot on the show (don't know if this is true), and that is hard to watch, I think. If what you say is true about them just doing things for the kids and not nurturing their own marriage, and now they're dealing with an affair, that just saddens me.

    Yes, they need our prayers. And maybe to get out of the lime light for a bit and focus on themselves and their beautiful children. God bless them!

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  5. I've always enjoyed the show. I hated how uptight Kate was all of the time, but I figured it was okay, since it seemed like Jon didn't really care...guess he did, after all.

    I also don't think it's good "for the kids anymore"...if it ever was.

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  6. Yes, I agree with you all, about the "for the kids" thing. I think they were trying to let the public know that they are trying to be civil for the children, and trying to do what is best for them, in this situation, divorce.

    Kate had mentioned "trying" for 6 months and it not working. I'm assuming they are going ahead and divorcing.

    I think the children are what are pulling her through this, giving her a reason to get up each day.


    Sad, so sad.

    Yes, prayer is what every marriage needs, desparately and always.

    It just shows how a family who appears to have everything, can lose it all just like that, especially without grace.

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  7. This story strikes me as one of many outcomes when couples put their will above God's - beginning with methods of conception.

    I was reminded of former neighbors of ours who sought fertility treatment outside the licit boundaries the Church. They eventually conceived a little girl. Before she was three the father had become disabled and the frustrated mother divorced him. I thought it was so sad after all they went through to have a baby.

    To me it seemed a symptom of the same root cause - putting our will above God's and failing to accept the crosses He sends us and like you said, failing to pray through the difficult times for the grace to stay faithful to our vocation.

    They were not Catholic, but to me it goes to show that the teachings of the Church are wise for anyone who cares to listen.

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  8. I heard both of them say that they are in it for the children. Well, their focus is off kilter. A marriage cannot do well if the kids are the primary focus. They obviously need to work on growing back together. I have seen a few married couples forgive and move forward, and becoming happier. I do not think Jon did anything but get caught out with the gal . . . but what I think Kate is dealing with is that what would have been the outcome had he not been exposed? I also speculate that they have enough income already; it would be good for them to pull the plug on the show, perhaps move to a smaller place (if they cannot afford to keep it at this point w/out the show/book/speaking engagements income). They have forgotten their roots . . . their beginning, which was much more humble, I'm certain. Also, you rarely see/hear them going to church any more . . . if God is not in the middle, front and center, well, the marriage will have problems. Jon needs a real job - she needs a real job. They can scale down many things and work on their family being real again.

    America will go on without them and they need that to go on without us. you know what I mean. It is obvious there is pain, but for all their "we're keeping it private" they are not doing that . . . folly. And, they are only fooling themselves if they think their kids don't know or sense something is not right.

    God help them and God bless them!

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  9. I enjoy watching as well. It was on of my "hooray for the big family!" shows - and I rarely watch anything. They were always a little "snarky" to each other, but I suppose that many little ones all the same age might do that! I will keep them in my prayers. Are they Catholic?
    +JMJ+
    Sarah

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  10. i only started watching that show the other day because there was a marathon on TLC and i was tired and there was nothing else to watch. and i must admit this family frustrates me. i taped the premiere last nite. haven't had a chance to watch it yet, but like so many other "reality" shows, i think it is pretty phony. it is clear that humans get sucked into doing something like this for the greed, fame, etc. and it really terrible to think that all of this is boosting ratings, publicity. my husband would beg in the street before he'd allow us to be made a spectacle of. there is a line where the whole family is entitled to privacy and they have clearly crossed it. prayers for jon and kate? definitely. but especially for the 8 because they didn't ask to be put in this situation.
    well, that's my 2cents. for what it's worth! :)

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  11. btw. that long winded anonymous comment was me.

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  12. I like to watch this show also..only once in awhile. Kate irks me because she is so mean! She is just one big CRAB! Jon-he seems sweet and I have see him roll his eyes more then once at his wife.

    I also think these reality show are all about the almight dollar. I also wonder if there isn't someone telling them..."do this" and the ratings will go up and more people will watch and presto more money.

    Time will only tell about their marriage.

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  13. I will sometimes watch this show, but am definitely not a regular. When I heard little comments about this particular show, I knew I wouldn't watch it and I probably won't watch it again. There's always more to the 'it' than all of us can see and I just didn't/don't need that in my life right now. It saddens me. I pray for their marriage & the marriages of others who are in similar situations.

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  14. I'm probably going to be the unpopular comment here, but I really do feel, having watched the show for awhile, that Kate needs to stop talking to the press about her marriage, quit the show, and focus on her family. I had to stop watching it at one point because it made me angry. She's pushy, rude, and will spend a ton of money on a party for her kids, but rolls her eyes to the camera when one of her sons asks her a question over and over again (something five year olds do). They are both to blame, and I pray that they can find a way to keep it together, because those kids need them. What Jon did wasn't right, but he specifically said on the show that he wanted to stop the show, and she said NO. I think that says something, IMO.

    If they have any sort of belief in God, they need to include Him in their marriage, not TLC and the rest of the world.

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  15. I agree with you Jen, I wonder if they are under some kind of contract though with TLC? Otherwise, why would they even think about doing it anymore, at all?

    You are totally right.

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  16. I don't know, but from what I understand, they were at a point as to whether or not they were going to renew their contract. Jon didn't want to, she did, and they did. Regardless of what they wanted. And you could see how fired up about it she got when they mentioned it on the show. It was like, "No way are we going to stop doing this. This is our bread and butter." My thing is he said he worked before the show. So, they probably have a good chunk of money from doing the show all these years. Count your blessings, don't do the show, downsize and don't buy the kids every single thing they could want (I was flabbergasted when I saw all that stuff she bought at the Party Store. That place is EXPENSIVE), give them their mom and not "stuff" (remember she said that her kids starting calling her by their babysitters name), and work on the marriage.

    I get so upset about this whole thing because it's like watching a train wreck, and those poor, innocent children are the victims.

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  17. I feel like we could all have a nice long chat about this one, girls.

    Sooooo much to say, to note, to pray about....

    What we see and mention is all a prayer for them.....

    Yes, Christine, her tone with Jon has always been abrasive to me.

    Yes, Jen, they seem to have sold out to TV at the cost of their marriage.

    Why? For the stuff and staff? My family had the People/or some such magazine at our river house vacation writing on how she's been thru 40 Nannies in a few months. For their new 1.1 million dollar home with designer furniture and the Kate-makeover?

    She almost seemed to be gushing about the paparazzi?!

    Sadly, I have also read and seen the interview from Kate's brother and SIL who used to be on the show. They contend that Jon came to them and felt the marraige was over because Kate was cheating with the bodyguard and that they were always fighting so much so that TLC had to shoot extra hours a day to edit in enough that was usable. She was really into the glamour and attention and he was without a job and feeling demasculinated. I'm curious as to how they've been "working" on it for 6 months...have they been to marraige counselling? Have they made compromises to how they talk and treat each other and how much time they devote to the show rather than each other? What's more important I imagine Jon saying...us or the show? He's looking for love, for escape and she's chasing after attention too.

    What is this life teaching their children? Why aren't they removing themselves to fight for their marriage FOR THEIR children, as they keep saying?!

    I'm sad and I'm kinda mad too. I too spent the night restless over them and praying for them. It was so painful to watch. God will always bring good out of everything and so perhaps this will lead others to a similar conclusion...put God first...hold your marriage vows sacred...

    Thinking now of praying for the children...

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  18. Yes, I think we all agree and think the same things.

    Coffee at my house!!! (and ice tea and Diet Coke!) All are welcome!!

    I totally agree with Jon feeling demasculated, they both said he is the one there every day with the kids while she is off on book tour. (for 2 years?) That has to be very hard for a man to go through that. And then to not feel appreciated at all.

    I think what is the hardest is we all see (or think we see) what is a fixable marriage, with very hard steps taken, some pride humbled and let go of and putting God and their marriage in the right perspective.

    I guess that is what is the hardest and the saddest for me to see. I agree with Suzie, Regan and Jen, I don't even want to watch anymore because it feeds into it all.

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  19. Diet Coke...did someone say Diet Coke!!!!! I'm there!

    Love all the comments here. People love this stuff though. Why did they get so many viewers? I would really like to know how many of the viewers were women and how many were men. I can tell you that the men I know and hang with would not watch this stuff in a zillion trillion years.

    Like all the train wrecks out there that are in the public eye people for some odd reason are attracted to it.

    Come watch my life!!!! zzzzzzzzzzz one big snooze fest! Boring but holy;) (at least trying)

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  20. This is why I love reading what you all say...it all makes sense. They do need to quit the show and work on their marriage. My understanding is that they have not been to counseling-yet, but that TLC is trying to put that in a deal (to film it). This, to me, is not the way to fix things.

    I saw over the weekend marathon that they are some sort of evangelical religion (during the marathon). I pray they go back to their roots, and figure out what is really important.

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  21. And now the media is doing whay I knew it would...wait for the kill.

    The popularity of large families means they are all freaks, we are all freaks for making the shows successful....

    Here's a stinging example of the disdain and they had to bring the Duggars into it and call "Mommy's body is a clown car." How rude!

    http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/20090526__Jon___Kate_Plus_8___adding_up_to_disaster.html

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  22. With Jon and Kate Gosselin seeking a divorce, what can you do to help them? Check out: JonandKatePrayers.com

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