This was a picture from last year on Father's Day, (at the Minnesota Zoo) but it's a great one and he's camping with Jedi so no new one yet!
I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and father to my children. He truly loves them each for their qualities. He spends time with them and is always there. A couple weeks ago, when our friend died, we heard that he had called all his kids the Friday before he died to tell them each his latest joke. His 9 children are all adults now. I thought this was amazing. I do not have that kind of relationship with my father. I can't imagine him calling to talk, let alone tell a joke. Ever. What would I say? My mom on the other hand, has always called, she used to call every day, but as I've said before the relationship is a little strained and hey, I just don't have the time anyway with 4 busy kiddos for every day conversations on the phone. SO, now it's maybe once a week that we talk on the phone.
Growing up, my parents had those typical male/female roles down perfect. The boys went with dad and the girls were (stuck) with mom. I know that sounds terrible, but, a typical Saturday would be us girls driving 40 minutes to the nearest mall to spend literally the whole day there. We'd get there around 11am and have lunch and then shop until we got home around 7:30 pm. Where my dad would yell at my mom about spending too much and getting home too late. To this day, I hate shopping. Always have. (My mom was doing what she thought "girls" like, afterall, she liked it)
One time, I remember my dad taking me with to re-roof a house. I worked so hard. I remember working way harder than my year younger brother. I had to impress dad so he'd think it was ok to take me along more often (like every Saturday). I remember trying to impress him with my lawn mowing abilities too. Never taking breaks, doing the best job I could. Always wanting his approval. My year younger brother took a ton of breaks and complained the whole time, unless there was a riding lawn mower, then he was the one to drive it, not me, the hard working one, because he was the "boy". Dad went to my brother's games because he was the "boy" and sports were more important than my Speech tournaments.
I think I've always tried to impress my dad with doing my best always. It never worked though, I never got that attention I craved. Which is probably why I went off and married such a jerk the first time (annulled everyone, don't have a heart attack, another post another time....maybe)
Now, I guess one good thing, since my parents joined the SSPX Church, (3 years ago) I no longer try to impress him. I don't crave his attention. At all. I also have a great (counselor) husband who helps me through all these feelings. Father's Day is kind of hard, all those personal cards, they just don't fit. I ended up getting a card with Darth Vader on it and the front says something like, "For years the age old question for all dads is, Why?" and inside (it's a talking card), Darth Vader's voice comes on and says "I am your Father" along with the deep breathing too!! It's funny and it works. (I also got one for Tom and my FIL)
Now, looking back on this post, I probably said too much, but it's the way it is. Not all my relationships are perfect. I asked a friend once, "Why can't I get along with my family? I get along with all my friends, we never fight or even argue?" She said because I get to choose my friends. I hope this post is not going to scare some of you away or change your opinions of me. Life, relationships, they're hard. I love my dad, don't get me wrong. There's just not much there, no substance, I guess. (in the relationship) Does that make sense?
I am blessed that my children have the kind of father I craved. They have the kind of father that takes each one out for "daddy time" on a "daddy date". They run to him every night when he comes home. He plays tag with them and "Lava Monster" at the park. He reads with them before bed and plays video games with them. (of course) We can't wait to see him and Jedi tomorrow afternoon when they come home from the big Cub Scout camping trip!
I hope everyone's Father's day is a happy one with wonderful memories and fun times!