Oh, little baby doesn't like mama sitting at all.These are my legs that she's crying by.
This is where she is every day, except when...
Jedi holds her or I hold her or 
Ballerina Rosie holds her or Mary Hannah holds her.My first 2 days were great. Then the next 2 days were "I'm sending you kids to public school!" days.
One of those "I wish I had time with my younger ones" day.
One of those "I'd get everything done, like laundry, shopping, playing with the littles, giving them the attention they need" days
One of those "I'd be a happy mama when they'd come home from school" days
One of those "It would be better than teaching them at home and being a crabby mama" days
One of those "you wouldn't cry or complain like that to a teacher in a school" days.
One of those "you'd be gone and I'd be happy" days.
Yes.
I did say that outloud.
I was feeling sorry for myself.
You know, if I did send them off to school, I still would not be happy.
I know that.
I know I'm called to homeschool.
I know this.
It doesn't make it easier.
When we choose to homeschool,
our laundry does not get done (OK, you organized people stay out of this pity party)
Our cleaning does not get done,
the shopping does not get done,
without the kiddos there right with us.
without a million interruptions.
(like I "fluffed" a load in the dryer at least 4 times yesterday before finally getting it folded)
When we choose to homeschool, we never get a break,
the kiddos are right there all the time.
See?
I'm feeling sorry for myself.
I had all I could take and ran to Jesus at our Adoration Chapel.
I cried, I begged for help, then, I did that thing where you open the bible and pray it is what God wants you to read and I read this verse:
Blessed be the Lord,
who has heard the sound of my pleading.
The Lord is my strength and my shield,
in whom my heart trusted and found help.
So my heart rejoices;
with my song, I praise God.
Lord, you are the strength of your people,
the saving refuge of your anointed king.
Psalm 28: 6-8
And I was able to go home and accept my crosses.
Accept my blessings.
Because I know having these beautiful children and being able to choose to
homeschool is a blessing.
It is a blessing and I'm thankful.
I'm thankful for beautiful prayers like this one
and a loving God who loves me despite all my imperfections and failings.
I am thankful for Confession and the graces and forgiveness I receive from this holy Sacrament.
Our Lady of Sorrows, Pray for us.
(See what we did last year and the year before)
Brownies might tempt me too much, but we DO plan to bake them today and celebrate....after piano lessons!
And before I paint another coat of paint on that play room!
Oh, how I hear you!!! Can we have a pity part together? Not really, maybe just a coffee and let the kids play together? Your entry struck a chord with me. I am typing with my baby strapped in the Ergo carrier, while my kids feed themselves warmed up soup (my 10yr old did that). I am afraid to move because the baby might wake up. We started school at 10 today after a night with hardly any sleep. The dog woke me up at 5:45 because she had to out. Oh and my husband is working out of town and won't be back until Friday. The joys of homeschooling where nothing gets done, but the bare minimum and the baby cries while you do that bare minimum. I only have four kids and I struggle. Too bad we didn't live closer, cause I really need a coffee and the kids need some fun. "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it'" as Anne of Green Gables would say. Let's keep pluggin along and doin God's will. I will pray for your lovely family. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteI've lost count of how many days I thought sending the kids off to school would solve all my problems. Baby J is NOT happy to be ignored while we do school. Although, he will occasionally nap for a short while when school is happening (and of course, the boys then decide they have no desire to do any WORK at that moment in time.)
ReplyDeleteTina Marie ~ I'm glad my husband usually understands the bare minimum approach to life. Although, with a 6 year gap between kids I think he's forgotten a few things. Praying that you make it through your husband's absence without any big hiccups.
When it rains it POURS....it is pouring out right now!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE IT when you are honost about your life. Too many blogs out there seem like there are elperfect-o. Like nothing ever goes wrong.
like...I am so glad it rained hard today because the big spit mark on the side of the Suburban is now gone! Life with kids is crazy!
Thank The Lord for adoration. It saved me many times my first year of teaching. And being a wife and mother.
I do not know what to say to make it easier. Just think that it could always be worse...remember the puke all over the stairs...didnt have that this week!!!!
congrats on the 8lbs!! Wow that is great.
Call me if you ever wanna talk!
sweet baby likes to be held!!!
Let us have it anytime you want to girl as long as you come back to reality by the end of the party. We all get frustrated but it will pass. Hang in there, your calling is worth it.
ReplyDeleteOdie
Although my kids are in our Catholic school, I am having many days with this because sweet baby girl doesn't like to get put down-SIGH!
ReplyDeleteAmen to your entire post!
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Jamie! I've got the same little grinky face clinging to my legs on an hourly basis.
ReplyDelete(Well, different face & different gender...but everything else is the SAME.)
What we be doing if they were away at school? We'd be on our bottoms in front of the computer, or cleaning cleaning cleaning. I'll take a discussion of the three theological virtues over those two things any time!
Though, granted, I need to spend some time on my bottom in front of the computer to recharge my battery...and I need to spend some time cleaning lest the health inspector pay a visit.
You know what I mean, though. These baby days will pass and thank GOODNESS for the gift of older siblings who are learning so much by helping out.
Truly. My Stephen's outside with the baby as we speak. :)
Hang in there. Those crafts that you're not getting to are not the most important thing and neither is the laundry. Are you wearing clean underwear? That's all that matters.
Love you!
We all have those days. It is one thing to complain and commiserate, quite another to pack up the kids and head for the adoration chapel to beg for God's graces to to what He called you to do. Thank you for sharing your day with us. When my little Peter gives up his morning naps our school days will be just as frazzled!
ReplyDeleteWe made brownies, too. I indulged and felt better!
ReplyDeleteThis is why we all love to come here Jamie, you are so honest. I love those blogs that can keep it real and lay out their days exactly how they are. We all appreciate that!
ReplyDeleteMay your days continue to be blessed, despite that they may not be 'perfect' and everything may not have gotten done. May you be given the grace to get through them gracefully, with every intact and knowing they are loved.
when i have those days....which are many!!!...i make lots of quick treats, brownies, cakes, muffins etc...
ReplyDeletefeels like i actually accomplish something!!! YA KNOW??? :)
i wish there were MORE moms out there that we could all help eachother out by watching the little crazy toddler, even for 30minutes!!! so we can get a school subject done or laundry done. Lord, send us more stay at home moms that can help us!!! Thanks.
Somedays I feel like we're mountains and valleys away, then posts like this bring me to your door. IF we homeschooled in the same room, we'd have eachother to hug when we're feeling down. I should get my knees to the adoration chapel. I am so thrilled God spoke to you in such a strong way. I think He spoke to all of us through you as well.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless and see you soon???