Thursday, May 19, 2011

Very Thankful Thursday

 Thankful for sunny days and beautiful sunsets seen in the evenings.


Last Thursday, I had a really, really bad day. 
One where I took out all my frustrations and failings on the kids.
I hold it all in for a really long time
then, I explode.
It happened around lunch time.
I yelled at everyone.
About everything.
I was feeling like a failure as a mother.
My kids are not perfect.
Far from it.
I know none of us are, but this particular day, it was bothering me.
Imperfections.
Especially mine.
I started yelling and told them all what I was feeling and thinking.
The one that is always mean, well, that is my fault and I told her so.
Like this:
"You're mean because I'm a bad mother, and you (another kid) aren't doing your school work
because I'm a bad mother, and you (another kid) don't pick up toys because I'm a bad mother, and it's 2:00 and we are just now eating lunch, again, because I'm a bad mother, and I'm in my workout clothes, waiting to workout, because I'm a bad mother and can't get up early enough to do it, and...." 
Well,
You get the picture, don't you?
Picture me yelling though and the kids staring at me like "what is wrong with mama?"
I fed the kids, and then went upstairs and fell to my knees.
Crying
Praying
Begging for help,
Begging for Mercy.
And you know what?
He gave it to me.
I came downstairs and my beautiful, wonderful, not always perfect kiddos forgave me.
And hugged me.
And told me
"It's OK mom, all moms freak out sometimes."
I suddenly felt so very Thankful.
Thankful for so many things.
(I also felt very hormonal)


Thankful for girls who still give me handpicked flower bouquets.
 Thankful for blooms and buds and growing leaves shining in the sunlight!
 Thankful for sisters loving each other
Thankful for big sisters and little sisters
 Thankful for glitter messes
and
husbands who help vacuum them up!
 Thankful for potted flowers from a good friend, it made my day!
 Thankful for silly boys who will only let me take silly pose pictures
 Thankful for tea parties.
Lots and lots of tea parties.
Like at least 2 every week...
 Thankful for little girls who always pray before they eat, even at a tea party
 Thankful for girls with raised pinkies

 Thankful along with tea parties, come home made cookies and little helpers, who might eat a little more than help....
 and babies, lots of babies and pretty set tables...
 Thankful for this recipe (now don't these look yummy?)
 Thankful for messy baby faces....
 See?  Thankful for lots of tea parties....
 Thankful for babies wearing homemade jammies from Grandma with homemade matching dollies....
 Thankful for boys and Spring band concerts!
 Thankful our homeschool group has a band and a wonderful band instructor who gives so much to the kiddos and Thankful that band instructor also plays the Trumpet, like Jedi.


Thankful
 most of all
 for the most precious gift of all,
A new life inside!!
Feeling very Thankful and humbled, and undeserved and amazed and scared and nervous and anxious and happy and so many feelings all at the very same time!
(probably due January sometime)

39 comments:

  1. WOW....what an emotional rollercoaster of a day!! We've all had those!! I just love all the photos you shared. And as far as that last photo/news goes......what a blessing!!! Congratulations!!!

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  2. Jamie-

    First of all, congratulations!! I too, have had a very difficult week and seeing how human you are and not afraid to show it was making me feel better. Second of all, you're very last picture made me feel better too, because---I'm pregnant too!! When did you find out? I found out this past Saturday. It's been very, very hard because no one is happy for me because the pregnancy is a risk to my health (because of the heart attack)and now I'm high risk, will need bed rest and blah, blah, blah.

    But I am so very happy inside. And so very happy for you!

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  3. Oh my goodness. I'm so very happy for you, Jamie! Congratulations. Praying for a healthy pregnancy.

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  4. Wow, Wow, Wow, Wow! What a COOL post with a COOL ending! A heartfelt congratulations all around!

    Wish I'd been able to have another child - for Rocky mostly...

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  5. I have been checking my bloggy all morning waiting for this post.

    YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

    I am so thrilled for you and Tom. I know you and YOU are a good mama. Look at those sweet girls. And a cool little guy who plays an instrument.

    We do not have tea parties at my home. Just nerf gun fights. I have a mostly boy house. Colette seems to hang and do what the boys do.

    No glitter to pick up around my house because the boys tend not to do crafts.

    SOOOOOO you should be thankful and blessed.

    I am thankful I got a call from you and was so happy for you. YOU are blessed to have this little soul. How come I have to wait so long to see this sweet sweet babe.

    Colette already has said she is going to get to hold the baby first.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    ps. Only Zach gave me flowers.

    PSS. I hate dandelions. They are all over our stupid lawn.

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  6. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am so very happy for you! I will be praying for a safe and healthy pregnancy and a strong, healthy baby!

    You are not the only one, Jamie, your kiddos are right: All moms freak out sometimes. Just ask my kids. Some moms are not keeping it real enough to admit it. And some moms don't ask for forgivness. You are an awesome lady - don't ever forget that!

    Blessings~

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  7. Somehow Jamie Jo just doesn't fit so I guess I should just call you "Wonder Woman". I "know" from reading your blog for some time now that you are a WONDERFUL mother. Everyone has moment in days that just don't work but you are blessed with 5 councelors to keep you straight. Who else could boast that girl. Please don't ever doubt how much you are appreciated by I am sure a lot of folks. Congratulations and keep a smile on that gorgious face.
    Odie
    :)

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  8. I love this post...Not expecting that you were expecting! Congratulations!!!!! What a thankful Thursday, indeed:-) God Bless that sweet little soul inside of you too. Don't worry, you're not the only one who has those days. I'm thankful when others are able to share so we know we are not alone. What JOY we have in our faith, even through the muckedy muck of our human selves. Hallelujah for you!

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  9. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy for you!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS! We will be praying for you! And I think you are a wonderful Mama!

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  10. O my goodness! COngratulations!

    God is so good! And especially for giving us the graces we need when we surrender and ask Him.

    xo

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  11. oh wow!! so awesome!!! congratulations!!

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  12. Love, love this post!! YAY for baby!! Congrats Jamie! SO excited for you.

    It's funny, as I read the title of the post and began reading,"she's pregnant" was the first thought that flew through my head. And then, as I read it I was almost disappointed and figured I must be totally off...until the end!! What a great ending!! :)

    Thank you for always sharing your honesty. Trust me, this mom freaks out as well. We certainly all must do it and have out breaking points.

    I'm so glad that the day did turn out in the end, you were forgiven and that hopefully you realized that it's all just normal. And if you are throwing in the hormonal part of it, definitely explains it a bit.

    I'm adding you to my growing prayer list on the fridge of pregnant mamas. Congrats again!!

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  13. Oh my gosh!! I'm glad I didn't scroll down to the end first, because it was such a big surprise at the end! :)

    Wow. You are so blessed. Congratulations!

    I began reading this post and was like, "I love this lady!" because I relate so much to what you are going through (except with my older daughter and four little boys to follow my life is opposite and all we do is paper airplanes and wrestling matches instead of tea parties!)
    I had a terrible day yesterday and after Henry missed the toilet and peed all over the floor and then stepped in the puddle and tracked it all over the house to tell me he needed new clothes I lost it. I had just finished dinner and was attempting to sit down to a hot meal. Instead I yelled, "I do. not. want. to be cleaning up pee right now!!! and grumbled the whole time I scrubbed the floor and he looked at me sadly.
    And then at breakfast my little Bennett threw a big tantrum and the whole morning was a wreck just because I was out of apple juice and I was just awful with him even though I know he is my boy who can't handle life when the routine is broken...

    Anyway I just had to sneak off and nurse the baby in peace (being with just one child is peace around here!). Bennett later found me and said, "I'm just so sorry for acting that way." It should have been me making the first apology.

    I would love to say that my day ended with a positive pregnancy test...but that's a little out of the rhelm of possibility with a two month old nursling. ;)

    ANyway. Wow. I am just SO thrilled for you.
    You are amazing. This little soul already has an amazing mother and family. How blessed!

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  14. Oh my goodness!!! That's wonderful!!!!!!!! I have to say, I'm so very jealous!!!!! You are amazingly blessed!

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  15. I stumbled on your blog about 6 months ago. It was the name of your blog that got my attention. I came into the Catholic church in 2008 and had been praying that prayer.
    Well I just wanted to tell you that you have really inspired me. I am going to begin homeschooling my 4 boys this fall. There are many factors that played into the decision and your sweet family and honest blogs are one of them. Thank you. I am so grateful for your transparency as a mother. May God bless you and your family, and give you a healthy pregnancy! Congratulations by the way!!

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  16. Congratulations!!!! I just started following your blog recently. I'm a mama of two with another on the way any day and I hope to have a big family one day too. I also have had c-sections, so your blog gives me hope that my dream is possible. Thanks for the great inspiration you are to so many women and a big congrats to you and your family!

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  17. Wooooohooooo!!!! Congratulations, dear, dear Jamie!! I'm so happy for you! Oh, how I wish we lived closer. I really want to give you a hug, a true irl hug.

    I will add you and your littlest one to my daily prayers.

    May God bless you!

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  18. I was reading along thinking "My life exactly" until I got to your big news. Congratulations!!! No wonder you are so hormonal!

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  19. Congratulations! Here's to 9 months of up and down hormones :)
    God Bless!

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  20. Congratulations!!! I'm so very happy for you and Tom. We all go through bad times. My kids can (and will) tell anyone horror stories about me. What can I say? I'm trying and praying every day.

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  21. Thank you for your honesty, I'm sure that was hard to do. Congratualations to your precious gift!

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  22. OH MY GOSH! Congratulations!!! I was not expecting a new baby at the end of THAT post! God BLESS you and that new baby!

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  23. Congratulations!!!! What wonderful news! God bless you, your baby, and your growing family.

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  24. This has to be one of my favorite posts ever and that's saying a LOT.

    I'm glad I saved my blog-reading for this evening. The kids are down and the house is so quite...and then, BOOM! I came to the picture at the end of this post and knew--just KNEW--that there was an exclamation point over my head when I saw it.

    Hormonal, yes.

    Blessed, very.

    I am thrilled for you. :)

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  25. CONGRATULATIONS! Wow, baby news is GREAT news, I am thrilled for you! You are NOT a bad mama...but I know how you feel, I feel like a failure SO OFTEN! Isn't band great? Cheyenne is so sad that it is done for the year...she would happily go all summer, haha.

    God bless you!

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  26. Congratulations Jamie!!!! I am so very excited for you!

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  27. Congratulations Jamie. Prayers for a healthy pregnancy.

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  28. Congratulations, Jamie! I'm very happy for you. God is good.

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  29. Wow, five children and one on the way! You are very blessed! Congratulations! I'm adding you and your precious new babe to my prayer list! Much love and hugs to you! You are so blessed to be a Mommy! You know if I was able to have children (I fear I'm nearing nearing closer and closer to menopause now at almost age 45), I would want to be a Mommy like you! I think you are such a devoted and wonderful wife and Mommy and that's why God is blessing you so much!

    Love,
    Maria

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  30. Jaime,

    Could you PLEASE pray for my dear Mama? She is 72 and has diabetes type 2. She had a diabetes attack last evening and was taken to the local hospital by ambulance. Her sugar was very low - 20. They managed to get it up to 165 late last night. They think also she might have a small anauerism (sp?)in her brain. They will be doing an MRI on her sometime today. Could you PLEASE pray for her? Her name is Paula. She has three children and three grandchildren (a boy six years old and twin girls age four years old) who love her very much. The problem is, she doesn't eat right, exercise, and sometimes takes too much insulin. We are trying to help her with these things! Do you have any recommendations for food and drinks I can stock in the house for when her sugar gets low that she can grab quickly? Apple juice or orange juice maybe? How about those tablets for diabetes at drugstores? Do those help? Let me know when you get a chance? Thank you so much!

    My email is: prayrosary4life@aol.com

    Thank you so much!

    You, the baby, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

    Love,
    Maria

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  31. Congratulations Jamie! That's exciting news! I admire your honesty with your stressful week and the emotions that went along with it. We've all been there. Praying for a healthy pregnancy!

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  32. Congrats, Jamie! Prayers for a safe and uneventful pregnancy.

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  33. the world just got brighter, now that your precious little soul has "arrived" ! congratulations. and blessings,

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  34. Oh Jamie - wow! I just laughed when you wrote that the kids said all mamas freak out now and then. I've been freaking out a lot lately, with only myself to blame. And yes, the kids give me that same akward look. I wish I had pregnancy hormones to blame, but the idea of another scares the heck out of me! [Though a part of me is desperately wanting another baby - weird.]

    I am SO happy for you, sending you lots of hugs! You've told me you wanted more children - and another chance to try for a boy! But wow - your news still shocked me, I did a double take! Despite the rough days, writing about all you are thankful for... you help many see what being pro-life is really all about. Again - so VERY HAPPY for your family!

    Yesterday Stanley made a May Day basket for your "Colette." I told him it might be awhile before they meet again. The kids are all bumbed out, missing their old friends. With summer approaching, I hope we'll both have a day open to get together!

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  35. Geez, and here, somehow I missed this post and then you posted on my blog about the baby and I was like "what?!"

    So, a little late, but a huge congrats from me!!

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  36. Congratulations, Jamie! I am so happy for you.

    (BTW, will you tell Christine that Blogger won't let me leave comments on her blog ... I want a mudroom like hers!)

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  37. Man, this made me cry! Been there! God bless you and your growing family!! I am so happy for you!

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  38. Thanks for sharing the great news about the baby. And for being real so I know that I am not alone when those days come along.

    We are so happy for you and your family. We are adding you to our prayer list.

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