My Grandma had 10 kids, 42 grandchildren, and I am having her 62nd great grandchild.
My parents made it their thing to not go to any weddings where the couple lives together before the wedding.
Over the years, this has caused lots of anger between my dad and his sisters and probably the nieces and nephews too. So, all the aunts and uncles went to the wedding this past weekend, except my parents.
I only mention this so you know my background, how I was raised, it is in no way to point fingers at them or judge them for being judgemental.
(not that they would go anyway, because they are SSPX-ers and would not go to a Roman Catholic Church wedding or Baptism or First Holy Communion--they joined about 5 years ago)
I'm sure my aunts find it ironic that my youngest brother lives with his girlfriend and has been for a long time now.
My grandma with Mary Hannah and Colette on her 89th birthday
At my grandma's birthday party, I was talking with one of my aunt and uncles and my uncle was upset at my parents and they feel we should just support and love these kids, not "judge" them. He went on to say that Christians of any religion, always think sex is the ultimate worst sin there is.
I think what he was trying to say was that sin is sin. Who are we to judge which sin we are going to pick and "judge" people for, especially kids these days who live together before marriage.
If the couple is Catholic, and they choose to not marry in the Catholic Church, we, as Catholics are not supposed to go support their "wedding" that is not recognized by the Church. We can go to the celebration and share in their joy.
There's a fine line there and it's hard to do. And any priest will tell you to go, if it would cause too much division and pain in the family.
I think when the couple lives together before marriage, maybe the sin is different because it's laid out there, like the scarlet letter. They are kind of flaunting their sin, because, well, they don't believe it's sin.
(which is the devil's biggest accomplishment, making people think sin is not sin)
I figure, if the couple is Catholic, and they get married in the Catholic Church, the night before the wedding, they might have a change of heart and they might be given that chance to go to Confession. How would we know that? We don't.
Therefore, I've come to the conclusion, that it is judging because, God gives grace right up to that last moment.
Getting married is a big decision and we don't know if the couple has decided to take it a little more serious and try to get all the graces they can possibly get by feeling that sorrow for the things they've done wrong and make it right by going to Confession, and start fresh and new on their wedding day.
I think this is one of those gray areas of life and tough things.
No one invites kids anymore to weddings, at least not any of my cousins, so we rarely go to weddings.
But it sure gets me thinking and praying.
Sin is sin and we ought to call it sin. But how do we also love? Do we have to call it anything? Can we just love and worry about ourselves? Or should we call it what it is and tell the sinner?
I don't know about you, but I don't want anyone telling me what my sins are, except God, through prayer and self examination.
Thank God for the Sacrament of Confession, where we can start fresh and new as often as we need to.
What do you think?