Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Balancing

I watched this movie last night.
(Tom and the big kids are gone to Canada which means
Jamie movies, Jamie food and 
lots of missing my family)

This movie is not for the light at heart
I cried through the whole thing.
It's a TRUE story of a family who survived 2004 Tsunami

I'm not giving anything away, because it is what the movie is,
The Impossible.

 It shows a family come together, 
it shows this relationship between mother and son grow
and it shows the sacrifices this heroic mother made
in a time of crisis, a time where a lot of people might be selfish.

It shows the sacrifices the father made for his family
and the impossible happens.

(the real family that survived the 2004 Tsunami)

 Boy, watching this movie couldn't have come at a better time for me.
I've been contemplating my life lately.
The things I need to change.

We all need to change constantly.
We are not perfect til we are with God.


Am I ready?
Am I ready if something like this happens?
Maybe not a Tsunami here in Minnesota, 
but maybe vacationing in California, or Mexico.
Maybe a tornado 
People lived here.
This could happen any time, to any one.
There could be a bombing, or a New World War, 
With Obama as president, anything could happen.
(I'm serious)
 OK, so this won't happen
(I was so disappointed when I found the "Z" stood for Zombies!!)


I think we all think we have time.
I think we all even think we have time today, or tomorrow
but we might not.

I've been reanalyzing my blogging.
Why do I blog?
How much time do I spend reading about other people and their lives?
(when I have my own life right here)

I actually blog to get out things in my head.
 I blog for the conversations and friends I've made.
It fulfills me.
In fact I'd rather be in this virtual world than the real world sometimes.

That's not good.
That's not balanced.
Since I've been  linking up for things lately, like weekly,
it has brought out some feelings of jealously
Jealous of other people and their ideas, 
because they are much  more creative and cooler than I.
Jealous over comments, if someone has commented here 
or only at other people's and not mine.  
Jealous of other people and their "appearing to be perfect" lives.
Even that of friends.
I think the linking up weekly has put some pressure on me
and blogging.
I want my blogging to be carefree and full of what I want to post.
(I'm selfish with my blog that way) 

I've been going to daily Mass and 
I think the extra grace has helped me to see things 
I was not seeing before
(either that or the devil knows where to tempt me--or both)



I heard this song recently.
(the kids tell me it's old)
But, it's new to me, and it's my new favorite.
(it's not a workout song, just a listening song)
I play it over and over.

I love the part where she sings,
"Everybody's got a dark side, do you love me?"
Because we all want to be loved.

It's really got me thinking.
Thinking about my dark side.
We all have one.
You know, those things that need changing.
The things we don't like in ourselves.

I don't want to paint a perfect picture here on my blog.
I don't want any one who comes here to leave feeling inadequate 
because they did not make Flubber with their kids.
Sure, it was fun to make, but
the Flubber got all over the floor and on clothing,
it was not a pretty site.

I don't want you to feel bad because you don't give your kids 
a campfire party.
Truth is, I whipped that together in a few days 
and I couldn't make it half as nice as the parties I googled. 
I want you to  know, it's not those perfect details that matter,
it's the effort, the trying to make it a special day.
The love, that's all that matters.

I want you to know that.  
I want you to know that I am not perfect.
Not in the least.
I have so many flaws.

My darkside is my family.
My parents actually.
I don't get along with them at all.
We argue constantly.
We argue mostly about religion,
I think they are judgemental, 
and the ironic thing is I am judgemental 
saying they are.
I turn into this ugly person when I go there.

I need to work on a lot of things.

So it's break time
Time to step away from the computer,
enjoy my kids more
and just be more quiet
so I can hear God, let Him work in my life.

It's summer!
Summer is for kids, right?
Doesn't the word Summer bring you back to your childhood?

SO, I might pop in once in a while for a post 
but I'll be reading less.

The good thing about that "Bloglovin'" thing is
they have this button "Mark as Read"
I might have to do that without reading.  

Time for some re-balancing.
God bless you.



35 comments:

  1. God bless you, Jamie. Your blog is one of my favorites; I love that you share the less-than-great along with great stuff. You seem like someone I'd be friends with IRL. :o) Good for you for taking a break, even though I'll miss your posts! I'll keep you and your family (parents, too!) in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Thank you Wendy, you are so sweet. I know we'd be friends. That's what so wonderful about blogging, picking our friends online. Thank you for your prayers.

      Delete
  2. Me too, Jamie. I gotta get off this virtual stuff. It's addictive and leaves me oftentimes feeling jealous and inept. I'm not focusing on being the person God made me to be.

    I struggle mostly with my mother in law. That's when my ugly dark side comes out. Even after repeated confessions about it. So you're not alone. Let's pray for each other.

    God bless :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, it's the repeated confessions that will heal us right? I hope so.

      Yes, focus on the person God made us to be. That's a great thing to remember.

      thanks Second Chances!

      Delete
    2. I stopped blogging after baby #3 came along and I got too busy. But, I always check in about once a week to read yours. You're like my older blogger sister momma. That makes no sense! I guess I mean mentor even though you don't know you're mentoring me :). Thank you for inspiring me. Xoxo

      Delete
    3. That was really sweet Second Chances...except maybe that older and momma part...haha!

      You are welcome and kisses and hugs back right at you!
      (and a few prayers too:)

      Delete
  3. Oh I cried through the whole trailer. I'm still going to torture myself with the movie. Cause for some reason us girls like to cry. It somehow makes me do better.

    Have a wonderful summer break. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kelli--I'm just taking a break, mostly from READING so many blogs! I still plan on popping in to tell about your mission!! In fact if anyone is reading this comment go here:

      http://ataylorfammissions.blogspot.com/

      About the movie, I kept telling myself, just turn it off, but I kept crying and watching!! We do love to cry, don't we?

      Delete
  4. That movie trailer gave me goosebumps. Wow. Ditto to anything happening with O in office... Enjoy your blog-cation!

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  5. Jamie...so much to say...first, thanks for the reminder about that movie! I wanted to see it then forgot about it. So it will be on tonight!

    Next...please know that I do not leave here feeling anything less than inspired. Never inadequate, never envious. Just inspired and happy to know that somewhere out there is another woman who shares my love of motherhood, and home, and family, and faith.

    Also, please know how thankful I am to you and your blog for welcoming me here and for sharing your wonderful friends who also come here to share your life.

    I guess I need to support your decision to step back and regroup. So I do. But gosh darn it...I will miss you and your kind words and smiling face!

    Ok....that's it. Later, dear friend! : )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Billie Jo, thank you so much. I'm glad you don't leave here feeling bad...

      That is what I've loved about blogging, meeting all these faith filled women, like you, all across the country. It's like lights all over for God. I think of that song, Go Light Your World by Kathy Tricolli (sp?)

      I'll be back (in my Arnold Schwartzeneger voice)
      It's just a break...mostly from reading the ton of blogs I read.

      Delete
  6. If you go, I go.

    Sounds like a great idea for summer. Like you said, summer is a crazy busy time and you really do need TIME for blogging.

    We are so busy and I do feel like I keep in touch with you through blogging...with pictures etc.

    Will check out that movie. Thanks for letting me know about it. I pray my family will never have to go through something like that..especially tornadoes. They scare me so bad. I go camping a lot but I just hate it because of the storms.

    love to you

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    Replies
    1. Now wait a minute here...you're both going??? What the heck?! ; )

      Delete
    2. "If you go, I go." Copy cat. (haha) Now don't go getting everyone mad at me because you want to copy me!

      I don't want summer to be crazy busy, I want to enjoy it with my kids not my computer.

      I posted more movie reviews for you in the post before this one!

      Delete
  7. This is for Laura Pearl:

    Dang it Laura!! I loved your comment, I was just moving onto it--really it did. I think we feel the same way. You shouldn't have deleted it. I think it is the way a lot of us feel. I think it's the link ups that did it in for me. When it starts to become work, then it's time for a break. Maybe a link up once in a while, but when I start worrying about who's linking up and meeting a TON of very faith filled women, all who I want to read, well, I just don't have time.

    And that loneliness? You are right, it fills that gap a little, yet sometimes it makes us feel worse. If your husband loves it, then post what is on your mind--that is so sweet by the way.

    Now, I can't remember what else you said, but I agreed...I know that.
    Delete

    ReplyDelete
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    1. As you were typing this comment, I was typing the one below. Sorry--I just saw how LONG my first one was and got a little embarrassed! :)

      Delete
  8. Jamie Jo, I just deleted my two comments above, because one of them was long enough to be a blog post. Sheesh!! I'll just say that I second Billie Jo's sentiments and leave it at that.

    Young, Faith-filled Catholic mom bloggers like you totally inspire me. You give me hope for the future (which I sometimes lose, in light of all the corruption in Washington, the widespread loss of Faith, etc.). So have a good break, but I hope you come back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura--I've quite often left loooong comments, and then thought, I should turn that into a post...but then don't need to because I've commented already! haha!

      Thank you for your sweet comments! I'll be back....promise.

      Delete
  9. I'll miss you too! Your blog is in my top five favorite blogs! I saw the movie The Impossible, just recently and it was really good, very sad, but a very well made film of what happened.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, my gosh, Kari--I'm humbled to be one of your top 5. Wow. Thank you.

      Enjoy that sweet little baby of yours a little more in the time you'll save looking at my loooong posts! In fact give him kisses from me!

      And yes, they did do a really good job of filming it. I watched some of the extras and loved seeing how they made it.

      Delete
  10. Jamie, you are one of the coolest folks here in blogland I know. I understand and fully support the need for balance. I reallyreallyreally do hope you will be popping in because I will miss your sweet, family oasis here.

    It is your blog, and you are the boss of it. Don't feel pressured by anything, and it shouldn't seem like work. Take a little break, and when you're ready, we'll be here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwww, I like that "family oasis".

      I've taken breaks before and it is been when I start feeling like it's work, and like you said, I'm the boss of it...I want it to be fun.

      Love you Shelly!

      Delete
  11. Jamie,

    I have been having a similar struggle about who I am and who I want to be. I am always uplifted when I read your blog. I wish Minnesota weren't so far or so cold! I think we all have to step back and really take a good look now and then at how we are doing things.

    Do what you need to do for you and your family. I think maybe a trip to VA and the beach would be good for you :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. oops! That is my daughter's account! Silly me for not checking before publishing!

      Delete
    2. Oh, Jenny, What? You don't want to come to freezing cold MN? VA sounds wonderful--I wish we could!

      I think I am mostly who I want to be, I just need some tweaking. (OK, lots of tweaking)

      Delete
  12. Remember how the reply part isn't in my blog...and I was wondering how to get it? I totally take that back!

    I've wanted to watch this movie, too. Maybe that week the kids are gone the end of the month...I think Eric might even watch it with me.

    Have an amazing summer, Jamie,. It's already going so fast! Cannot believe it's June and we've barely had a warm day. Definitely need to spend the time away from the computer - save it for our LONG winters ;-)

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  13. You are so sweet! I love how you come across on your blog, and part of that is because I think you blog for yourself and not "comments." Keep the blogging real.

    Glad you reviewed the movie. We were thinking of trying that one out.

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  14. Oh Jamie Jo! YOu CAN'T leave (see how selfish I am?) I hope I never make you feel inadequate... I can't imagine how with all my messy laundry piles/messy house in the background of every picture practically. There are some things I can't post because family reads my blog and I cannot afford to give them "ammunition" to look badly at my Mom... even if we struggle all the time. So I try to focus on the positive when I blog about her... and I'm grateful, but there are miles of hurt there.

    I often feel like I don't know how these other Mom's have time to do things (like blog) or get it all done... but I remind myself not to compare and that I'm putting my kids first. I only really get to blog sometimes when everyone's gone to bed at a decent (or not) hour.

    I blog for a release. I love to write... and so many times do not get to write what I have on my heart because my family duties take over, but I feel like I NEED to sometimes. Sometimes to capture a memory I'm afraid of losing, sometimes to put my thoughts into words, sometimes to grieve or reflect over something, whatever, but not for others.

    I think that's why so many are not led to comment. I wish they would (I love your comments and knowing we are connected in that way) ...but I guess I'm not meant to be tempted to write to see if I can get a lot of comments. Often times it's... none.

    And that's ok. My life doesn't need to be as important to others as it is to me. But it is nice from time to time to hear that something I wrote reached someone or gave a little smile or joy or that others care about my family.

    I am so proud of you and an inspired by you and maybe this will be good because we'll have to actually pick up the phone and call each other like "real" people and offer support that way. Till then, know I love you here across the miles and wish we were closer. xoxo (and I'll miss you. A lot.)

    (oh... and I SO want to see that movie!)

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  15. I'm so glad you're taking the break we talked about -- although I will miss you tons -- because I know you need the time away from blogland. Think things through concerning blogs you read, and when you come back, delete a few.... and just regroup some stuff. Sometimes less is more.

    Enjoy the summertime with your precious kids and dear Tom. That's why I rarely make time to post anything. It robs too much time from my family... and as I've seen first-hand three times already, they grow into adults way too soon. The quote above by Buddha is soooo true.

    Love you, sweet JamieJo! {{{hugs}}}

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  16. I love your honest post and thank younformthe Jamie movie reviews. I know now to avoid Z and see The Impossible. keep up with daily Mass and yes it's good to linkup every so often but need a breather once in a while.

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  17. I get it. I really do. When I look at the number of blog posts I've written over the past several years, my numbers have truly dwindled. Sometimes it's the season of life and other times it's the need to just take a tech break for all the reasons you posted. Hugs to you from Kansas.

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  18. Jamie Jo - I LOVE that Kelly Clarkson song too and feel like it was written just for me...(probably a lot of people feel that way...) I totally understand what you mean about blogging. I surely do enjoy your blog and you do inspire me when I read what you have written. You inspire me (and others I am sure) with your strong faith and commitment to God. If you have to step away, we all understand and are with you on that, but know that you will be missed and we hope you will come back for a visit and a post from time to time. I will look forward to seeing how you and your sweet family are doing. You are an example to many! Love from Arizona!

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  19. Hi Jamie Jo!

    I know EXACTLY what you mean by needing to find balance. Lent came around the time I intended to be a more regular blogger and even announced the start of a blog series! The problem arose when I gave up reading blogs daily and just gave myself 1 hour a week on Fridays. Well, I had been away from reading blogs for a few days and started noticing my level of contentment go up...then the 1 hour on Friday came and BAM!!! I came down with a huge case of discontentment that took me 3 days to recover from...and I only recovered from it because I couldn't read the blogs after that hour. And that's when it hit me...I've been running around with a low grade case of discontentment for as long as I've been reading mom blogs. So I changed my lenten sacrifice to no blogging or reading blogs...and the pressure just melted off and I started trying to create that life I've always wanted. Lent came and went and I just kept away...because I was happier doing so. Only in the last few days, have I started peeking in again and only because my blog was recently hit with a bunch of traffic (thanks to Sarah linking to me) and I'm discerning wether or not I should pick up blogging again...I just don't know. I just know I have a good and beautiful life that needs protecting from another bout of discontentment...I don't want to go there again.

    I DO miss your blog, though which is why it's so hard to figure things out.

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  20. Thank you for sharing all of that, it helps!! I have been feeling so guilty for not keeping up on Dominic's blog, but I just can't, it is too time consuming when I have little ones that need my attention ( I type this as a little one is in my lap begging for breakfast!) You are a beautiful soul Jamie and your blogging has helped me tremendously, but I do understand why you may step away for a while. Understand too though that your blogging has been a great witness too, I believe we are encouraged and lifted up when we see a family such as yours :) Many blessings to you and I will still stop in on your blog because I feel as if I know you! I would love to meet you in person some time when we are in MN!

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