We got to Mass, sat in "our" pew, (the front row) and as I knelt to pray I smiled as I looked at Ballerina Rosie and Jedi. They looked so happy and content. I was able to spend "mommy time" with both of them this weekend. (time alone with just me) In this moment, I am thinking they've gotten what they need. (this week) Sigh of happiness comes over me. We went to Confession and Adoration just yesterday, I'm feeling so happy and pure. Until...Mary and Babycakes start in with the "getting progressively worse Sunday Mass time" or the "just how naughty do we have to be until she takes us out? time". Crying, yelling/high pitch screams, wanting everything the other has. We have rosaries and prayer cards (the plastic coated ones on a ring), and Mass books. (special books we bring only for Mass) It is supposed to be perfectly timed out. First books, rosaries and prayer cards, then move onto pretzels. (Yes, we do snacks during Mass for the 3 and unders. Whatever works or in this case doesn't work. Please Please don't start a debate on snacks or no snacks, we've done both ways and I'm not changing my mind:) Then water or water w/a little juice and hopefully by this time it is during the consecration if the plan is working and we can make it to the end...unless there are a lot of announcements. The main goal is to make it through Mass w/o leaving and standing the back with a 26 lb one year old and a crying 3 year old saying "I want to go home! I don't like to go to church!" How embarrassing.Today I was in tears by the consecration and again at the closing song "Amazing Grace". Not because of the song either.
What a failure I am. Why are my littles such stinkers? I am drenched in sweat all through Mass. You know I try to cherish every age, but on Sundays it's hard to like that age. They are like this anywhere they are confined. Like in a grocery cart...another story for another time!
Next week, my husband and I are splitting up and going to different Masses, leaving the littles home. He will take 7:30am and I will take 10:30 Mass and we will all be much happier.
On a happier note, my husband and I DID receive graces and so did our little stinkers!
Thank you God for Sean and Julie the wonderful people who always sit behind us, or I guess, we sit in front of them...but thank You for them, Julie always helps in whatever way she can and it got us up through the consecration today!
Oh, Jamie! You are NOT a failure! I remember feeling exactly the same way with my three little girls. I could feel the "perfect" mothers looking at me. I spent so many services at the back of the room. Could you arrange to leave the little one in the nursery? Does your church have any babysitting for babies & toddlers? Maybe you could work with other mothers to get this started. At any rate, this too shall pass. You are a wonderful godly woman and don't let Satan fool you. Remember we are in Lent and he's always lurking around trying to defeat our spirituality! Love and hugs to you from Nerm
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT a failure! I will admit to times when it was so bad that I stayed home and watched on TV. Then I reminded myself that Our Lord WANTS THE CHILDREN - and he didn't put any conditions on their behavior!
ReplyDeleteJamie, you made me laugh again! I can just imagine that sweet baby girl saying "I want to go home!"
ReplyDeleteI always imagine the people behind us in Mass get entertained by my 4 little stinkers. Sometimes, but not always, the little stinkers can turn into big stinkers. My 12 yr old doesnt seem like he wants to be there either and doesnt pray along unless he gets a look from me.
Such a hard job for us mothers to raise Saints. Lord hear our prayers. I believe he does.
Brian would never let me do the either/or Mass - -- I know other families that do it and it makes sense until they are a little older.
We usually go out for family doughnuts after church (only Byerlys will do) and they kids will be good for that treat!
Hang in there my friend. You are a sweet mama!
love christine
Thanks again, Jamie for the advice about my goofy blog.
ReplyDeleteI like to do seasonal crafts: do you have any good ideas for St. Patricks - St. Josephs Day and Especially Easter coming. You are always so good with those ideas.
love christine