Saturday, March 21, 2009
Well, this is the shoe that I was wearing at the time of the accident, and this is the shoe that I had for 8 years and this is the shoe that went in the garbage the other day!
No more heels of any kind for me. Ever.
Here's the story:
On Friday afternoon, we drove to pick up some greeting cards (a love card for my hubby and a b-day for my father-in-law) that the cashier had forgotten to put in our bags earlier in the day. The girls wanted to ride the "penny pony" several times, and we had time, so I let them. On the way home, it was just so beautiful and sunny (I think close to 40 that day) that I decided to drive around the neighborhood to look for any snowmen, we did find a couple. Then I looked at the gas tank and thought, it would be better to get gas right now, instead of later that night on the way to a homeschool play we'd planned on going to. So, again, since it was beautiful out, as I was getting gas, I was washing windows, all 4 kiddos in the van. When I got to the back windows, I stepped up onto the pump step (the pumps are about a foot up on a cement step ) and over the gas hoses. Well, I guess I should say I attempted to do that. I tripped on the hose and fell on my right shoe that twisted and my ankle bone popped out and my leg broke in 3 places just above the ankle. I kind of fell to my butt, I guess, I know I was on the ground sitting. I looked at my shoe, it looked kind of funny and I looked at it and moved it, and it was just hanging funny and all in the same moment, I realized that my foot was in the shoe and that was my bone sticking out of my sock. (it did not break the skin, thank goodness!) I laid back in the melting snow and water and mud, so as not to pass out. I then, yelled for help, and my kiddos came to my rescue, they got my purse and I tried to call, first my husband, 911 and several others, all of which I could not reach!!! I am not cell phone savvy, so, I had to mostly go by memory of people to call to come and help! I honestly can say I did not feel any pain or anything until in the ambulance when they asked me where my pain level was. I just could not move my leg at all.
I looked around, and still no one could see me, so I yelled again for help and the kiddos came out again, I asked Jedi to go into the store to get help for mama. He did and proceeded to wait in line once he got in! (cute, huh? He was scared and did not know what to do!) After what seemed like way too long, I sent in Ballerina Rosie with instructions to first find her brother and then tell someone it's an emergency her mom needs help!! That worked and they were right out, the store manager called 911 and gave me his coat, as I was teethchattering freezing laying in the water. I tried my husband 4 times, his cell was off!
After the ambulance came, and prepared me to be moved, they finally said, if no one can be reached they would have to call the Police and they would have to take the children. The children were with the Firemen, who were entertaining them, giving them stuffed Beanie Babies and tours of the firetruck. (they were great!!) I think it was one of the firemen that was trying to call my husband and my parents and anyone I could think of to come and get the kiddos! I told the kids to pray to their angels to get daddy to check his phone fast! As soon as they got me in the ambulance, he called!!! He came and got the kids. Poor Babycakes, who was in her carseat for the whole thing, saw nothing, except nice fireman and the kids going in and out. She yelled at daddy when he got in the van "No, mommy drive home, no daddy! Where mommy?"
After Tom got home with the kiddos, he finally got ahold of our wonderful neighbor, Jeanne, and she came over and fed the kids and later put them to bed. He did not get home until after midnight.
They operated on me right away, giving me a Spinal, which was the safest for the baby. I now have 8 screws, 2 rods, a cable and some kind of bolt holding all my bones together! I cannot put any weight on my right leg for 6 weeks. I have crutches and a wheelchair. Stairs are a killer, so I only go up once for bed. Yep, right leg, so no driving for this chick for probably 2 months at least!
We are so blessed. It could have been so tragic. I could have lost the baby. This is also temporary. So many things happen to people and it is permanent.
A lot of people ask (which I find a funny question, one of those "DUH" questions) if it hurts. Well, let's see, no pain meds, 2 incisions a few inches long on each side of my leg, and broken bones, uh, yes, it hurts. It is getting better each day though. And I look at it as an opportunity to offer more up to our Lord and hopefully grow closer to Him.
My hardest thing is elevating my feet 4 times a day for 30 minutes. I think I've managed to do it twice a day. I am also supposed to be up and down, keeping the blood flowing, to help prevent blood clots. I know one thing for sure, I will have very toned arms and shoulders from the crutches and a very toned left butt cheek and leg when this is all done, but also one very flabby and hairy leg after the cast is removed!!!
"Mary" my 4 year old has had the hardest time with all this change. She refused Grandma's bath the other day not wanting different people giving her a bath. (we are only having the grandma's give them baths) She only wants mama to do it and she wants mama back the way she used to be. It's been hard on all of them though, always having people here to help. They need privacy and quiet time too. I need someone here each day though to help me with Babycakes and just all the little things.
It is humbling to say the least. I am a perfectionist and don't like to ask for help and God has put me in a position where I have no other choice but to ask for help and accept it. Large slice of humble pie I've been given. I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of people offering to bring meals and help in any way they can.
Our book club is reading the book called "Holiness for Housewives". I am not sure of the author and it will literally take me 10 minutes to hobble to get the book and hobble back so, that's the name anyway! Well, we read the first chapter last Thursday and discussed it together. It was about our vocation as mothers and how it is what is bringing us closer to God, it is our way to holiness. All those little things we do, are opportunities to praise God and unite ourselves with Him. Well, it is one thing to read it and try to think of it when feeling burdened by the countless tasks we do as mothers, but it is another thing to have the ability to do those things taken away. I truly can say I cannot wait to sweep my own floor and pick up those things laying around, the clutter, the toothepaste on the sink, flush the toilets, straighten the hand towels as I walk by, push chairs in, wipe the table and the counters, give baths and all those other things we do as mothers, I will think of all of those things as blessings and gifts to be able to serve my family in that way. To serve God in that way.
My husband has taken over taking care of me and the children and doing errands and anything that needs to be done, he has been wonderful, I am so blessed to have such a wonderful man.
Thank you again for all of your prayers and well wishes, it truly is a gift to call you all my friends. My prayers are for you in return. May God Bless all of you!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Her ankle broke in 3 different places. She had 8 screws, a metal plate and a cable to hold the bones together put into her leg that will be there for life, most likely. But the surgery did go well and the doctors predict a normal recovery. The problem is that a normal recovery for that type of injury means 6 weeks with no weight on the right leg. Then another 6 weeks of physical therapy until she is back close to new.
The to little ones are having a hard time because they don't really understand what happened. We went to see Mommy at the hospital and it helped the two order ones to see she is OK. She is in much better spirits today and we brought her some things she likes from home.
Thank you all for your prayers. They have already helped immensely. God Bless you all.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
"With a married woman dine not,
recline not at table to drink by her side,
Lest your heart be drawn to her and you go down in blood to the grave."
This email was sent to me yesterday, quite only by coincidence, with God there are no coincidences though, are there? It explains my thoughts exactly about Facebook. I think it's fine for other people, but it's not for me and this is the reason. I know lots of people use Facebook for other reasons, especially teenagers, but my generation, I think uses it for contact with their pasts. Again, it's fine for some, just not for me.
"There's a point in life when you realize
who never did
who won't anymore
and who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past. There's a reason they didn't make it to your future."
My husband recently opened a Facebook account. He also recently has gotten in contact with quite a few people from his past, like close to 60. I say great! I'm glad he has this network to be able to email people or leave a few notes through Facebook. Not old girlfriends.
Truth be told, it was my husband who got the call from an old very close friend from college. I may have met her once shortly after we were married, although I don't remember her. Doesn't matter. I trust my husband completely, and know he would never do anything and I believe this is perfectly innocent. It just is not right. Lines are crossed when a married person meets with another person of the opposite sex alone. I believe it's inappropriate. I think it opens the door for, well, nothing good.
I have run into people from my past in stores or wherever, but that's just it, we run into eachother, speak a little, catch up a little and move on. Now, maybe my past is different, having moved so much, I don't think my social network on Facebook would connect anyone. I have no desire for that type of conversation. I grew up mostly in Princeton, MN, but moved 5 times to California, including my last 2 years of high school, which were in 2 different schools, in 2 different parts of CA. Then besides moving, I had different friends with my first marriage, (annulled) with different jobs, etc. I think if I run into someone from my past, it is meant to be for whatever reason, probably to pray for that person, nothing more, in which I always do.
Now, I'm not talking about old friends who I've stayed in contact with over the years, like my friend Denise. We met when I was 4 and her family bought our old farmhouse. We've been friends ever since. We hardly see eachother, but we do email, and plan to visit, although it rarely happens.
My husband thinks I paint a perfect picture life here on my blog. Maybe I do. Truth is it's far from perfect. We all have struggles in life. I like my blog to be a place of happiness, a place people come to and feel just a little better about whatever, even if just for a moment. I think my blog is a place to escape to, it's pretty, it's all the good in me. I don't want to paint a picture of perfection here though and make anyone feel less than anything by coming here.
I have been crabby and complaining (daily) for all of February and I suppose part of January. I have been feeling like crap all the time and my husband gets the worst of it. I have had no energy to do anything, go out, nothing but do what had to be done and lay on the couch for the rest of the time. No, I'm not that picture perfect pregnant woman. Don't get me wrong, I love this little baby, I'm just not good at suffering happily. Now why wouldn't my husband like to go to coffee with an old friend? A friend who is happy and not complaining to him? Don't answer that.
This past week, I have started to have some more energy and just the drive to get off the couch. (I'm still puking every afternoon and evening but the energy is coming back)
Marriage is hard. For my husband and I, we end up co-existing. We work well together and rarely fight, maybe 3 times a year. But with 4 small children, life just gets away from us and we go into this mode of just taking care of what needs to get done, going from need to need, yet not taking any time for the two of us. We drift apart. We've tried "dating" once/month with a sitter, where we actually go out and having weeknight "homedates" but by the time the kids are all asleep, and we're ready to sit down, it's 9pm and well, we're exhausted. Finding a sitter for 4 busy kids is no small task either, not to mention expensive, it's either dinner or a movie, not both. Lately our weekends have been full of other things. Packed with other things. No time left for the two of us.
We resort to relaxing and watching a movie. No talking. No conversation. We've done it again as so many times before, we've become second to the kids in eachothers lives. It's supposed to be: 1 God, 2 Spouse, 3 children. But somehow Spouse moves to 5 or 6 on that list of priorities. How does this happen? Better yet, how can this not happen?
I know, it takes time. Time every week. Time every day. Time together. Talking, having fun together.
It is during this time of co-existing that little things build. After a long time of it, it takes something like an old female friend from college to call my husband and ask him to coffee, to make me jealous and angry. Jealous of the time I'd love to spend with him. Jealous of the conversation that she'd get to have with him, that I'm not getting. Angry that we disagree. I don't get mad that often, but when I do, I admit, I blow up!!! I yell, I am defensive and full of "you" statements.
Yes, sometimes this happens in front of the kids. This is something I need to pray about. I need to remain calm until the "right" time. In the heat of the moment, that just seems impossible. I know it's something I can pray to God and beg for those graces from our Sacrament of Matrimony to help me with, to help us with. Thank God for the Sacraments and all the graces that come from them!! I don't know how a person could make it without them.
Life is hard. Marriage is hard. But it is also easy at the same time. Does that make sense? The ups and the downs. I guess the ups are easy it's those downs where it's hard.
I know the co-existing thing happens in lots of marriages. How do you deal with it? Is it a constant struggle for you? It seems to just sneak up on us and before we know it, it's there and we are in it!
I know through the grace of God we will overcome this. I hope I have painted a more clear picture of real life here instead a picture of perfection.
If you leave comments, please keep it nice, if anything bad is written about my husband, I will delete it. I love him and he's innocent in this, and is planning on seeking the advice of a priest.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
At 32 weeks (8 weeks early) my water broke in the middle of the night. I remember telling my husband, "I think my water just broke", he said "what does that mean?" I called the hospital and they said to come in right away! We just thought it would be in and out, they'd fix it and we'd be back home again. Well, the check in nurse said we were not leaving the hospital without the baby out of me. I was having contractions, and he was transverse (sideways) inside me, so they prepped me for a c-section, just at the last minute (answered prayers) he went head down. So, they stopped c-section plans and we thought I'd deliver. It's like 98% of women deliver within 24 hours of their water breaking. Well, I was in that 2% and the contractions slowed down and then completely stopped! I then laid flat on my back for the next 3 1/2 weeks, until at which time the chance of infection was much higher than him being too premature. So they induced me, after 9 hours of hard labor, with no progression (he wasn't ready), they did do a c-section. He was born 5lbs 11 oz, so yes, had he gone full term, he would have been a 9 pounder! He was breathing on his own, and perfectly healthy!! He had to be in the neonatal unit for the next week and we couldn't bring him home until he learned to suck. This is something babies learn in the last few weeks of being in the womb. Amazing!! Each day he stayed inside my womb, saved us 2 days in the preemie unit. He was quite a miracle!
Monday, March 9, 2009
I watched this movie (on DVD) last night. Changeling is about a single working mother in the 1920's, played by Angelina Jolie. This is based on a true story directed by Clint Eastwood. Her son ends missing and the corrupt LA Police Department delivers her the wrong son and tries to convince her he is her son, even though he has shrunk 4 inches and looks completely different. They end up committing her to an insane asylum where she continues to fight for her son and all those the police have hurt. This was a heart wrenching story for any parent, but I really enjoyed it, Angelina Jolie did an excellent job of portraying the feelings and emotions of this woman. It was rated R for violent content (her son is taken away) and language (the insane asylum).
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
This book "Betsy-Tacy" is Ballerina Rosie's first book for her mother-daughter book club through our homeschool group. The first meeting is tomorrow and we just finally got it at the library yesterday!! My Que was 3!! We've already read 4 chapters and hope to read another 5 today. It's a real treasure! This is the first of a series of books written about these sweet characters. The writer is from MN and said she had such a wonderful childhood that she had to write about it! I'm so glad we found this series and can't wait to read more! Ballerina Rosie is 6 and the youngest in the group, but she's very excited!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The next project is mixing colors to get green shamrocks, which should remind us of the Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!
Sorry for the blurry picture, my camera has just not been the same since dropping it last spring, and it is seeming to get worse and worse! Trace or draw a large shamrock, and cut it out, get your paint, blue and yellow.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Forgive me if this gets long. I'll start with: I'm 12 weeks now!!! I had my lovely paps today at the OB and got to hear the baby's heart. I am scheduled with my doctor appts until 28 weeks, when at that time, the appts will go to 2-3x/week, if not before that. My C-section is scheduled for August 27th, the feast of St Monica! They scheduled me in the main operating room. (not in the baby unit) Because it's my 5th C-section and they want to be prepared in case I have problems with my blatter (I guess they can cut through my bladder if it's too close to my scar tissue) They also have to be ready if I hemorrhage, they might need to do a hysterectomy. Nice, huh? Now, I have to go and pray and calm down. Everything will be fine. God already knows what will happen. He is already there.
The above picture is where this particular toy always is after being out for 5 minutes. On top of the fridge. I love this toy, because it's such a classic toy, but I also hate it, because they all get sooooo wild with it!