Anniversary of my Baby

October 18th, the feast of St Luke.
9 years ago I lost a baby. I was 9 weeks along. We named "him" Gabriel.
I feel he was a boy...but I always think it's a boy until we find out it's a girl.
He waits for us in Heaven. He prays for us. We pray to him. We love him, and he loves us.
I'm a little sad today thinking of him, but there's always Ballerina Rosie to be so very thankful for, as she was conceived a couple weeks after this date (9 years ago).
What is so hard about miscarriages for me is, we already love that little soul. From the moment we find out, the love is overflowing in our hearts for each child.

This prayer gave and still gives me such consolation when I read it.
From my Mother's Manual:

To a Child in Heaven
My darling, you have gone to heaven to be eternally happy,
and are now in joy in the company of the holy innocents there.
It was a thing hard for me to understand when you were taken from me,
for parting with you has caused me grief that few can know.
Yet in all my grief I am happy, very happy for you,
because I know the joy that is yours. Your joy is now my joy, too,
because I can always feel that I had a part in bringing it to you.
Now that you are in heaven, I realize that you are mine in a truer sense
than you could ever be on earth. I cannot lose you now through sin.
While parting with you was hard, I would not wish you back because
I know that you are happier than I could ever make you here with me.

Help me, as you now can with your intercession,
that I may be completely faithful to all my duties here on earth
and merit to receive you again in eternal joys
where there will be no more sorrow or parting from those we love.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, lover of little children, hear my prayer!