Balancing

I watched this movie last night.

(Tom and the big kids are gone to Canada which means

Jamie movies, Jamie food and 

lots of missing my family)

This movie is not for the light at heart

I cried through the whole thing.

It's a TRUE story of a family who survived 2004 Tsunami

I'm not giving anything away, because it is what the movie is,

The Impossible.

 It shows a family come together, 

it shows this relationship between mother and son grow

and it shows the sacrifices this heroic mother made

in a time of crisis, a time where a lot of people might be selfish.

It shows the sacrifices the father made for his family

and the impossible happens.

(the real family that survived the 2004 Tsunami)

 Boy, watching this movie couldn't have come at a better time for me.

I've been contemplating my life lately.

The things I need to change.

We all need to change constantly.

We are not perfect til we are with God.

Am I ready?

Am I ready if something like this happens?

Maybe not a Tsunami here in Minnesota, 

but maybe vacationing in California, or Mexico.

Maybe a tornado 

People lived here.

This could happen any time, to any one.

There could be a bombing, or a New World War, 

With Obama as president, anything could happen.

(I'm serious)

 OK, so this won't happen

(I was so disappointed when I found the "Z" stood for Zombies!!)

I think we all think we have time.

I think we all even think we have time today, or tomorrow

but we might not.

I've been reanalyzing my blogging.

Why do I blog?

How much time do I spend reading about other people and their lives?

(when I have my own life right here)

I actually blog to get out things in my head.

 I blog for the conversations and friends I've made.

It fulfills me.

In fact I'd rather be in this virtual world than the real world sometimes.

That's not good.

That's not balanced.

Since I've been  linking up for things lately, like weekly,

it has brought out some feelings of jealously

Jealous of other people and their ideas, 

because they are much  more creative and cooler than I.

Jealous over comments, if someone has commented here 

or only at other people's and not mine.  

Jealous of other people and their "appearing to be perfect" lives.

Even that of friends.

I think the linking up weekly has put some pressure on me

and blogging.

I want my blogging to be carefree and full of what I want to post.

(I'm selfish with my blog that way) 

I've been going to daily Mass and 

I think the extra grace has helped me to see things 

I was not seeing before

(either that or the devil knows where to tempt me--or both)

I heard this song recently.

(the kids tell me it's old)

But, it's new to me, and it's my new favorite.

(it's not a workout song, just a listening song)

I play it over and over.

I love the part where she sings,
"Everybody's got a dark side, do you love me?"
Because we all want to be loved.

It's really got me thinking.

Thinking about my dark side.

We all have one.

You know, those things that need changing.

The things we don't like in ourselves.

I don't want to paint a perfect picture here on my blog.

I don't want any one who comes here to leave feeling inadequate 

because they did not make Flubber with their kids.

Sure, it was fun to make, but

the Flubber got all over the floor and on clothing,

it was not a pretty site.

I don't want you to feel bad because you don't give your kids 

a campfire party.

Truth is, I whipped that together in a few days 

and I couldn't make it half as nice as the parties I googled. 

I want you to  know, it's not those perfect details that matter,

it's the effort, the trying to make it a special day.

The love, that's all that matters.

I want you to know that.  

I want you to know that I am not perfect.

Not in the least.

I have so many flaws.

My darkside is my family.

My parents actually.

I don't get along with them at all.

We argue constantly.

We argue mostly about religion,

I think they are judgemental, 

and the ironic thing is I am judgemental 

saying they are.

I turn into this ugly person when I go there.

I need to work on a lot of things.

So it's break time

Time to step away from the computer,

enjoy my kids more

and just be more quiet

so I can hear God, let Him work in my life.

It's summer!

Summer is for kids, right?

Doesn't the word Summer bring you back to your childhood?

SO, I might pop in once in a while for a post 

but I'll be reading less.

The good thing about that "Bloglovin'" thing is

they have this button "Mark as Read"

I might have to do that without reading.  

Time for some re-balancing.

God bless you.