Life

Going through change is hard.

I have been really been thinking (like Sims here)

about life and the type of mama I want to truly be.
(no,it's not too late for that!)

We've been trying to adjust to life changes, business changes,

school ending, planning a winter getaway,
planning a move to another state, (Texas)
and just the busy times of having a family with 6 children
all with different personalities, wants and needs.

It's been 4 weeks now since my sweet 4 year old was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

 I can tell you it turned my life upside down 

for what seemed like forever

When in actuality it was only a week or so

Aren't struggles like that?

Once I accepted it,

accepted that our (her) life would be different than 

I was used to

things were fine.

Once I accepted it,

I was no longer mad at God.

Yes, I said that, didn't I?
I was mad at God.

I was.

I was hurt and sad

(counting carbs for a 4 year old is tricky, one trick I do to help

is fancy divider plates, makes counting easier and eating fun)

 

 I felt like, 

"How could YOU do this to ME?"

I do so much for YOU

Don't we all feel like that?

What we are doing is "enough"

Or better yet, more than enough?

but is it?

Sometimes God knows we need more.

We should never become lukewarm, 

or OK with the mediocre

 I started thinking, 

"I've been through so much, 

I've been a good girl, now let me coast a while"
(reward me)

I still struggle with this, 

I  kind of fear God and what He will give us next.

God has a sense of humor.

He is also gentle.

He knows all and He sees all.

He sees the BIG picture.

And I TRUST.

I do not know who said this, 

but it goes something like this:

"If you don't have a cross in life,

you better get on your knees and beg for one"

I believe it.

I know it.

It is through our crosses that we grow closer to God

A friend recently asked for prayers 

and she asked if I'd offer up some of my suffering for her.

I was like, 

"I'm not suffering, but I'll pray for you"

Really, I heal that quickly.

I'm such a baby

when it starts though.

I cry

I beg for Him to take it away
and

instead of saying 

"Why me?"

or  even

"Why not me?"

I get jealous, point fingers and say things like, 

"Why not them?"

We are like little children

At least I am.

I complain and cry and finally

I accept things the way they are.

The way God has allowed.

And you know what?

  

 A BIG weight is lifted off my shoulders.

Are things a little harder than they were before?

Yes.

Are we all OK?

Yes.

Will we survive?

Yes.

Things are normal now

(besides mealtimes being a little more chaotic than they were before)

(Yes, I guess that is possible)

Summer will be tricky with bringing her supplies and snacks,

but we'll figure it out.

 God is continually working on me.

Giving me more patience

(towards crabby, demanding kiddos)

more charity

 (towards people that ask dumb questions--my pet peeve)

And after acceptance is set in, 

I realize there was nothing to cry about in the first place.

There is a lot more suffering out there.

This is small.

Once hard things are accepted,

they are no longer hard.

The cross is lifted.

But if we complain about and compare our "hard things"
with others, our crosses will remain and we will be burdened.


“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”
Matthew Chapter 11:28-30

I have not been reading blogs much, I'm so sorry, forgive me?