More Updating

 Gosh sakes, I'm so sorry my blogging has been so irregular!

I've just been having a hard time juggling my time!

Once I get here, I end up getting distracted.

My "mom induced ADD" is getting worse.

Newest activity in our home:

2 more girls are unicycling!!

Parades are going to be even more fun next summer!

We are so blessed because our Deacon,

 also our friend and fellow homeschooler,

teaches unicycling and  has practices every Monday evening.

(The Ringsmuth Riders)

He also teaches a Catholic Apologetics class to homeschool kids grades 9-12

My oldest is in it and loves it.

What an amazing man.

He gives so much of his time to others. 

And we get to reap the benefits.

Another family I know runs our homeschool soccer.

As in, every fall til November, every single year, 

for  like 15 years or more, they have run this awesome opportunity for 

other homeschoolers!

I have 2 girls that love to play.

I'm going to guess 80-100 kids show up each week

This family that runs it, donates their time, they are not paid,

they just do it. 

Wow.

They are amazing and we get to reap the benefits.

I remind myself of this:

Small things, Jamie, it's OK to do small things.

 

After a week of doctor appts, lunch dates

 (Star of India with a daughter that was studying India)

clothes shopping (Why can't they just stay the same size for, like a few years?)

homeschooling, piano, groceries, and more groceries, 

I needed some down time.

You know, some time to blog.

After I folded these 6 baskets of clothes!!

I still need to bake some pumpkin bread 

and sort through some girl clothes for my friend in Fargo

(we are going there tomorrow--I can't wait!)

 Saturday jobs are done (the kids)

wait...you were supposed to be scrubbing the floor...

OK, Oh, my! Melt my heart. 

You can mop later.

 Oops.  

I got distracted there.

Updating.

I was updating.

Everyone always asks about these two little cutie pies.

So I'll go onto them!

Aren't those toesies just the cutest?

She has been a Type 1 diabetic since May 1.

And she's doing super, in fact, I'll let her tell you about it!

See?

She's doing awesome!

 And Sims here, he's such a character!!

He's just such a blessing.

He brings so much joy.

Well, both the littles do, to us all!

He has speech every week, in our home.

He just learned how to say the "P" sound and the "B" sound.

This is a major thing, as he still has a tiny hole in the top of his mouth

It's a lot of work, as you'll see in the video, but he can do it!

It will take a lot of practice for it to become natural.

 Isn't he a sweet heart?

 WINTER PLANS!

We are going south for the winter!!

We will be gone for December, January, and February.

(We have someone that will be staying in our home for us)

We have hotels reserved, a trailer rented and a condo ready for us!

(and plans to meet a few friends!)

It will be an adventure of a lifetime.

 MOVING PLANS!

We are still planning on moving.

Our plan is to finish fixing up the house in the spring 

and move when the house sells.

I'm still pushing for TEXAS!!

(San Antonio to be exact)

but ARIZONA is still in the running.

It is really up to God, 

because we have weavered back and forth like 4 times.

 I am reading this again.

LOVE it.

I'll be done on the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary

I ache for the poor.

Every time I see a homeless person, 

I feel sick inside.

I try to give them whatever I have, 

but I don't always have cash. 

Last week, I asked a woman what I could buy for  her in Wal-mart, 

(she was standing outside of the store)

she had 3 kiddos with her...all she wanted was waters.  

I asked if I could buy her snacks and juice for the kids, 

she said yes.  

Seems so little.
(I threw in a Wal-mart gift card)

It was only one day though.

I so wish I would take them home with me, give them a good home cooked meal,

and a place to sleep til they get back on their feet.

But I also have to be realistic, 

and keep my family safe.

What are we supposed to do?

What does God want us to do?

We pray for them whenever we see them.

My love for the  poor is one of the many reasons I love St Mother Teresa

In 33 Days to Morning Glory, Saint Mother Teresa is quoted as saying 

"Be the one"

It's because of Psalm 69:20

Scorn has broken my heart and has left me helpless;

I looked for sympathy,  but there was no one, 

for comforters, but I found no one.

"Be the one"

I've been contemplating this a lot.

Be the one.

 I've been struggling daily

with getting up earlier 

so I can walk on the treadmill.

Why is this such a struggle for me?

Oh, hush!

You know, when I saw this one I had to share it with you!!

This is what my front yard looks like right now.

It's Freaking 48 degrees outside right now!!!

I need to start counting down the days....

I saw these at Sam's Club and couldn't resist.

Come on!!

You know  you used to watch it!

You know you loved it!

We are watching these tonite.

(Tom and Jedi are going to play cards tonite anyway)

This summer I started writing in a notebook

"100 things I love"

which, to my surprise turned into a lot more!

I plan on sharing these things with you 

and I plan on writing my Thankful's soon too.

How about a Catholic apologetics post?

Hmmmm...we'll see.

I've got to bake some pumpkin bread.

Have a great weekend!

Life

Going through change is hard.

I have been really been thinking (like Sims here)

about life and the type of mama I want to truly be.
(no,it's not too late for that!)

We've been trying to adjust to life changes, business changes,

school ending, planning a winter getaway,
planning a move to another state, (Texas)
and just the busy times of having a family with 6 children
all with different personalities, wants and needs.

It's been 4 weeks now since my sweet 4 year old was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

 I can tell you it turned my life upside down 

for what seemed like forever

When in actuality it was only a week or so

Aren't struggles like that?

Once I accepted it,

accepted that our (her) life would be different than 

I was used to

things were fine.

Once I accepted it,

I was no longer mad at God.

Yes, I said that, didn't I?
I was mad at God.

I was.

I was hurt and sad

(counting carbs for a 4 year old is tricky, one trick I do to help

is fancy divider plates, makes counting easier and eating fun)

 

 I felt like, 

"How could YOU do this to ME?"

I do so much for YOU

Don't we all feel like that?

What we are doing is "enough"

Or better yet, more than enough?

but is it?

Sometimes God knows we need more.

We should never become lukewarm, 

or OK with the mediocre

 I started thinking, 

"I've been through so much, 

I've been a good girl, now let me coast a while"
(reward me)

I still struggle with this, 

I  kind of fear God and what He will give us next.

God has a sense of humor.

He is also gentle.

He knows all and He sees all.

He sees the BIG picture.

And I TRUST.

I do not know who said this, 

but it goes something like this:

"If you don't have a cross in life,

you better get on your knees and beg for one"

I believe it.

I know it.

It is through our crosses that we grow closer to God

A friend recently asked for prayers 

and she asked if I'd offer up some of my suffering for her.

I was like, 

"I'm not suffering, but I'll pray for you"

Really, I heal that quickly.

I'm such a baby

when it starts though.

I cry

I beg for Him to take it away
and

instead of saying 

"Why me?"

or  even

"Why not me?"

I get jealous, point fingers and say things like, 

"Why not them?"

We are like little children

At least I am.

I complain and cry and finally

I accept things the way they are.

The way God has allowed.

And you know what?

  

 A BIG weight is lifted off my shoulders.

Are things a little harder than they were before?

Yes.

Are we all OK?

Yes.

Will we survive?

Yes.

Things are normal now

(besides mealtimes being a little more chaotic than they were before)

(Yes, I guess that is possible)

Summer will be tricky with bringing her supplies and snacks,

but we'll figure it out.

 God is continually working on me.

Giving me more patience

(towards crabby, demanding kiddos)

more charity

 (towards people that ask dumb questions--my pet peeve)

And after acceptance is set in, 

I realize there was nothing to cry about in the first place.

There is a lot more suffering out there.

This is small.

Once hard things are accepted,

they are no longer hard.

The cross is lifted.

But if we complain about and compare our "hard things"
with others, our crosses will remain and we will be burdened.


“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”
Matthew Chapter 11:28-30

I have not been reading blogs much, I'm so sorry, forgive me?

Type 1 Diabetes

 I thought I'd clarify what this disease is.

 There is no cure, no miracle vitamin

 or pill that will help us to manage it better

or cure us.

There is no "natural" way to help us.

Type 1 diabetes is forever.

 Our immune system started viewing our pancreas cells as foreign

and attacked them.

Dead.

Our pancreas's will never work.

Ever. 

The reason is unknown, but we do know that there is 

no way to predict who will get it, or when.

There is no way to prevent it or delay it.

It just happens.

Completely different 

 "The pump" is only a device to help deliver insulin, it is not a cure.

It does not test our blood for us either.

We still need to count carbs

We still need to test our blood.

My 4 year old will not be on a pump til she is a teenager.

 I have to laugh, because I think I've heard all these stupid comments.

I'll try to answer some of these:

10.  There is no "Bad kind" of diabetes.  

It's all bad (haha)

9.  Candy did not cause this, or poor diet. 

                     Our immune system attacked our pancreas cells.

8.  If your grandma or aunt or anyone over 40 has diabetes, 

it is most likely type 2 diabetes, totally different disease.

Totally different.

But, maybe they are like my mom, and had Type 1 Diabetes since they were 24.

But probably not.

7.  We can eat sugar, we can eat anything we want.

Anything.

We just need to take insulin to match the carbs in whatever we eat.

So if I want to eat a whole chocolate cake, I can, 

but I'd need like a whole bottle of insulin

to combat that! Seriously, though, if I want cake, I can eat it, 

I 'd have a piece and take insulin to accommodate that.

6.  Hey, you are right. I feel so much better. Are you a moron?

5.  Well, then, let's pray you do not get Type 1 Diabetes, because

if you could NEVER give your needles, you'd be dead.

4.  Wow. I'm so sorry.

Poor control can cause poor circulation

3.  (well, I am now, but I've had 6 kiddos and am trying to lose it)

I was always thin before children.

OK, again, read the chart up top, 

Type 1 Diabetes is not caused by poor diet or from being overweight, by eating 

too much sugar or fat, that is Type 2. 

Totally different.

2.  Nothing can cure Type 1 Diabetes.

Nothing.

1.  Just what does a diabetic look like?

 The only thing that is harder for me is losing weight, 

I hope these 2 signs help explain that one for you.

OK, I won't hit anyone, but please don't ask a diabetic that question. 

They know what they can eat (anything)

Diabetes does not stop me from doing anything.

Diabetes will not stop my sweet 4 year old from doing anything either.

She can be in sports, she can do or become anything she wants.

She can get married and have babies (as many as God wants to give her)

Diabetes is not a burden.

I don't understand that one I guess.

It just is what it is.

Some things are harder.

That's life.

It's OK for some things to be harder.  

I don't even look at it as a cross.

It's second nature to do the things I do.

It will be that way for her too.

As soon as she understands what "Forever" really is.

(like this morning, she asked, again, "I'm bored of taking shots, when can I be done?")

(to which I respond, "Never sweetie, you will be taking shots forever")

Diabetes does not hold me back, it does not control me.

I control it.

She will too.

Trying to Breathe

Catching my Breath.

I'm trying to catch mine.

I feel often like I can't breathe right now. 

If you've missed it, 

My beautiful 4 year old was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes last week.

I, first want to THANK YOU for all your kind comments and emails, 

your thoughtfulness and prayers are treasures.

I have a TON of emotions and feelings right now.

I have, what I think is a strong faith.

Throw anything my way and I will still love and trust God.

But, I tell you, this feels like, like, I can't breathe.

One part of me

feels things like, 

I just don't think I can handle this

Not now God

Why does there always have to be something?

Why can't we just float through life with, 

nothing major happening?

I pray all the time, I love You Jesus, 

I go to Mass as often as I can,

I go to Adoration 

I trust You and You just give me MORE.

What is the blessing of this?

WHY ME?

This constant worry of lows (blood sugar)

(especially overnight)

WHY ME?

I cried all through Mass today, 

Heck, I cry all the time now.

Gosh, I sound like a selfish baby.

The other part of me says things like this

 (the first part is winning though)

At least I am not mourning the loss of a child.

At least it's not cancer, not knowing if my child will live or die

This is totally livable!

Thank You for this cross, Lord

This will not be bad for her when she's an adult

We can do this!

I TRUST YOU JESUS!

The blessings are

I know how to take care of her,

 having had type 1 diabetes since I was 10 myself.

I've found a plethora of Type 1 information, jokes, fun stuff, 

SUPPORT, people who "get it" on, of all places, 

Pinterest!!

HERE

 I've also been watching my own diabetes really closely 

because of her.

Since the last pregnancy, I've gotten rather lax 

with my carb counting.

Now, it is exact.  

(having no appetite helps with this too)

Add to that a husband with health issues, a child with ADD and another with a cleft lip/palate.

Seriously, this past week, 

I've had jealousy, anger and worse attitudes towards others.

(and they didn't even know it)

(except God)

A TON of emotions I tell you.

Breathe, Jamie, Breathe.

 She's doing fine.

This is what she thinks of Type 1 Diabetes!

We are testing her blood 6 times per day

 (one is a 2:30am one that she doesn't even wake up for)

And taking 4 shots.

 The hardest part (besides me worrying about overnight lows)

is getting her to eat enough carbs to cover the insulin she's taken 

before each meal.

Like (it's like this every meal) but today at lunch, 

we had eggs and toast and fruit.

She told me she was going to eat one piece of toast and 1/2 glass of milk.

(and an egg, but that's not a carb)

She ended up eating 1/4 piece of toast, and a half cup of pineapple.

(and the egg)

I made her sip her milk (1/2 cup is lot for this tiny girly)

while watching a cartoon after lunch (Robinhood)

EVERY SINGLE MEAL is like that.

She's 4

She doesn't know what she is going to eat.

And she changes her mind all the time.

She barely eats the 20 grams of carb she needs to eat to fill that 1/2 unit of insulin.

The clinic gave her this bear.

His name is Rufus, the diabetic bear.

He came with a book about a little boy diagnosed with type 1 diabetes,

and his mama sewed a bear for her son, like Rufus.

He has spots all over where he gets finger (paw) pricks and shots.

She's giving him a shot in this picture.

What a cool thing to give to new diabetic kiddos! 

We've spent 2 days at the clinic and have one more in 2 weeks, 

I am calling her doctor daily with blood sugars.

and then eventually it will go to every 3 months.

(with calls in whenever I need to)

 This is the medic alert bracelet she picked out! 

(out of some really cute designs!)

Personality, I tell you, she's full of personality!!

(I love that spunkyness about her!)

The bracelets have gotten way cooler than when I became a diabetic!

She did pick a pink snake thing on top...

We are trying to find a new normal here, 

as if mealtimes were not already stressful, 

God has a sense of humor.

(I'm not laughing yet, but I"m trying to)

Breathe, Jamie, Breathe.

 Jesus, I trust in YOU

I wanted to write about this, in the hopes that someday this might help someone
who is going through something similar
This is where I am right now, I always try to blog real
And this is REAL

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT TYPE 1 DIABETES,

I'M PLANNING ON A POST

TO EXPLAIN THE DISEASE.

ASK IN THE COMMENTS

(no promises when though, hopefully within a week or so)

Update

Updating here to let you prayer warriors know

YES she is a Type 1 Diabetic.

Just like her mama.
Just like her grandma.

(yet they still tell me it's not hereditary?)

They did a simple urine test and 

her glucose was high as were her ketones.

We have an appointment tomorrow morning in Minneapolis

Lord, please give me the grace to be all  You and she need me to be.

Thank you all for your prayers.

You are awesome and I will pray for you in return!

(not sure I'll get to a "Thankful" post, I'm feeling rather sad tonite)

Diabetes

I watched this video this morning at Aussie Therese's

It made me think of my own type 1 diabetes and how it's changed my life.

I've had it for so long that I can't imagine life without it. It has become 2nd nature to me.

It's funny, because probably most people would think of diabetes as a cross in life. I don't really

think of it as that, because of that 2nd nature thing. What I mean by that is that every time I take a shot, 5 times/day, or monitor my blood sugars, 5 times/day--8-10 when pregnant, or count carbs before I eat, I'm not thinking "Oh, I hate this" or "Why do I have to do this?" It's automatic. I don't even think about it. It's offered up in my daily offering and forgotten.

I "got" diabetes when I was 10 years old. My mom also has type 1 and she "got" it when she was 24. She had 2 kids at time, my brother and I, we were like 2 and 3 years old. She ended up going into a coma and was in the hospital for a month, us kids were not allowed to see her...wow, how things have changed, huh?

I did not go into a coma. Usually diabetes is triggered by some kind of flu, and the flu had gone around our neighborhood, (we were living in Santa Rosa, CA at the time) and after a week, everyone drug themselves back to work or school and got better. I didn't get better. My mom started thinking diabetes. Back then, they only tested sugars with urine. (SO INACCURATE) She tested me after nibbling on barely anything and my urine was "moderate" and then tested my dad, who had feasted on fried chicken and chocolate on the bottom cake and he was "normal".

I remember her calling the doctor and they said she could bring me in that night or the next morning. She asked if I could go into a coma, they said, "well, yes..." So she brought me in right away. I still remember that as such a funny thing about the whole situation. Anyway, they brought me in and I was in the hospital for a week.

Oh, things have changed over the years. (almost 32 years by the way) Back then, I took one shot in the morning, then after a few years, that changed to 2 shots, one at bedtime and one in the morning. Then a few years later, it changed to testing our blood instead of urine, by pricking fingers. This is still the case. It just amazes me how much more accurate it is now. I think it is most common to take a shot with each meal and at bedtime, which is what I do.

As a kid, don't get me wrong, I went through some things with it. It was hard. I hated it. The first year I was perfect on the diet, never even nibbling off the diet. Afraid if I did, I'd die. The next year, towards the end, (we had moved back to MN by now) we had a 6th grade end of the school year party, and there were chips and lots of snacks. I remember being tempted by them and gave in and ate some chips! I used to walk home from school...probably like 10 or 12 blocks and I cried all the way home, thinking I was going to die. You know what? I didn't die! I remember testing the waters I guess, from that moment on. Always taking my shots but not really watching it like I should have. Until I was an adult.

Now, it is the high blood sugars that are damaging to our internal organs. It is the high blood sugars that cause all the terrible things Diabetes can cause. That is why it is so important to watch those blood sugars and count those carbs!!

Once finger pricking started and taking insulin with each meal, I hated the attention I got from everyone. I have to admit, it's still something I try my best to avoid. Once I'd take it out, who ever was by me or around me would come over and ask (stupid) questions. I still, to this day, do not like having to educate everyone who asks, only for them to not really understand anyway. Type 1 diabetes, for some reason causes some kind of fog on the brain for people and they just don't get it. I find this so funny when I am in the hospital and the nurses don't get it. They always start out treating me as a gestational diabetic, then they always end up letting me take care of it myself and just tell them the numbers and amounts of insulin I took. It's like type 1 is so rare or something.

It's not that rare. It's not that confusing. My pancreas does not work at all. It does not produce any insulin, ever. SO, I take insulin to compensate for the food I eat. SO the food has to match the insulin. Over the years this has changed also. We used to count everything, fruit, vegetable, fat, meat, bread, milk. Now, it is carbohydrate counting, it's the carbs that make the blood sugars rise. Of course the others foods must be eaten too and in moderation, but it's a direct insulin/carbohydrate ratio, in order to monitor blood sugars.

Type 1 Diabetes is not caused because of poor diet, or obesity and used to be called Juvenile Diabetes, because it is usually diagnosed before the age of 30. It is controlled by diet, exercise and insulin management. I was always a skinny kid. I remember in 7th and 8th grade being a size 1 and having a hard time finding clothes. Our little Ben Franklin store had size one clothes!!

Type 2 Diabetes is caused by that poor diet, or obesity. In a type 2 Diabetic, their pancreas still works some of the time, just not properly. It is sometimes reversed by diet only, which is the hard way, but most often is controlled by pills or even insulin and diet.

The funny thing about people who do not have diabetes is they always say, "Oh, I could never take all those shots." or "How do you take all those shots?" as they shudder at the thought of it. I always tell them, it's not really the shots that are a big deal, it's the diet, the watching everything. But, you know, it's not anymore. It's really 2nd nature now. It can be a balancing act. It does make some things harder. I've found it really tricky losing weight, exercising and adjusting the insulin to do so.

I find myself embarrassed by the disease now, that I'm older and overweight. With each baby I've kept the last 10-15 lbs (I'm having my 6th baby, I'll let you do the math) I think people think I overeat or don't watch it, when in actuality, I am probably eating much healthier than they are. This is all because of the big growth in Type 2 Diabetics across the country, and the unhealthy risks associated with this.

Insulin is known to make a person gain weight. My insulin levels when not pregnant are around 6 units before each meal and around 24 of the bedtime insulin. Now, by the end of the pregnancy, those levels are unbelievably high, breakfast I'm currently at 42 units, lunch 22 and supper 18, my bedtime is split between night and morning and the total is currently at 86 units!! The insulin is daily rising and monitored. I'm eating the same amounts, it's the pregnancy hormones. In a normal pregnancy, your pancreas automatically does this same thing, it produces the right amount of insulin. In my body, I put it in there. The day I have the baby, those levels go completely back to normal.

I have very tight control of my diabetes. With each baby, especially by the 6th baby, I just know I am going to gain 50-60 lbs automatically. Which is humbling to say the least. Oh, I don't want to get off on diet, losing weight and exercise yet, there will be plenty of time for that once I recover from the

C-section!!

Diabetes is not controlling me. I am controlling the diabetes. I can do anything anyone can do. I can exercise, I can do sports (OK, I'm not good at sports, never have been, but I can do them!) People in my past have said things about my diabetes and not being able to have children, well, that was the wrong thing to say to me!! I can do anything.

This does not hold me back.

**We do not contribute to any research in order to find a cure for Diabetes, because their research involves unborn babies. I can live with this. I would never take a cure, so I could add a few years onto my life, by means of a baby losing their life. Aussie Therese also has information on her blog regarding this serious subject. (just fyi: Cancer and MS research companies, also have no qualms using aborted babies to do their research. We really have to do our own research before contributing to any cause)

Type I Diabetes

Having Type I Diabetes since I was 10 years old has had it's ups and downs. One of the downs is always having to explain to people what it is, how it is different than type II diabetes. Another down about having diabetes is always being different, drawing attention to myself every time I test my blood or take my insulin before I eat. Michele has 2 children who have recently been diagnosed with type diabetes and she wrote a great post about the misconceptions that I know most people have about diabetes. Type I and Type II diabetes are two very different diseases. Both in how they are managed and how they are received.