Tom and I decided that when the kids grow up
and get their own places to live,
we are going to go visiting!!
Here is a list of things we plan on doing:
(the number one thing is the most important)
- We are going to poop in your toilet and not flush, over and over and over til it's stopped up.
- We are going to write in all your books and tables and walls.
- I am going to put band-aids on and leave my papers right where I put the band-aids on.
- I am going to leave my bowls of cereal milk on the counter.
- We are going to take off our coats and just let them fall wherever they land.
- We are going to do the same with our socks, but with our socks, we will put them in weird places, including out in the yard.
- We are going to brush our teeth in your bathrooms and leave big chunks of toothpaste all over the sink and we might even leave some chunks on the cupboard too. OH, and the rug too, of course.
- I am going to have to say "YUCK!" to everything you serve me.
- I am going to go to your cupboards and make sure to tell you that I'm hungry and that you have nothing good to eat.
- We'll make sure to poop in your toilet again, before we leave and don't worry, we won't flush!
I know, kids are kids.
This brings us comfort to think of this and laugh to ourselves.
Of course we won't really do this,
but it's going to be tempting.
Will you be visiting too?
Yes...and I will ESPECIALLY leave chunky, STICKY blue colored toothpaste on EVERY SURFACE...including the flusher on the toilet...I don't even want to dwell over that one. Yuck! LOL Your post made me smile.
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah, and we might need to leave pee on the toilet seat, because I KNOW they love that one.
DeleteBe sure to leave those socks in balls -- inside out.
ReplyDeleteAnd open a soda, or two, or a dozen, and take one drink from the can, and then leave it until no one knows whose it is and no one will drink out of it.
And leave a dozen dirty cups around too, for the same reason.
Dirty cups with old milk in them....found weeks later!
DeleteOh, yes, sock balls, they must be in ball form!! And Yes, we are going to take a new cup out EVERY time we need a drink of water. Every time. And leave the old cups all over the place. (even outside)
DeleteI would LOVE to have chunks of toothpaste...instead mine somehow manage to spray their tooth paste all over the walls. Like they brush with their mouths open..rinse their brushes and just shake the heck out of it.
ReplyDeletewe have toothpaste splatters all over the faucet and mirror, like they brush with their mouths open.What the...?
DeleteChunks, splatters, we'll do them all! It feels so good to touch the handle to the vanity cupboard and feel those splatters.
DeleteI would change my clothes every five minutes, and leave all the other clothes on the floor, in front of the dresser, all inside out. Oh, and I would dump the dirty clothes basket out and use it as a step stool, effectively mixing all the dirty clothes with the inside out clean clothes.
ReplyDeleteOh, Jenny and all of you, you all have me laughing out loud!! YES, we will change our clothes at least every 5 minutes or so and leave the clothes all over, wherever we are changing. And if we do decide to put the dirty clothes in the hamper, we will only put them BY the hamper, because we know you kids don't like the clothes IN the hamper. And of course ALL the clothes will be inside out, how else would we do it?
DeleteI love it!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, this is fun!
DeleteI am going to throw my garbage into the already way too full garbage can, and pretend I don't notice that it needs emptied. ; )
ReplyDeleteOh, hahaha!! YES! We will do that too!!
DeleteYou're too funny. :)
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not, though, when you get to the "visiting" stage (which we are definitely in now), you'll actually sort of miss those days when they all lived at home, even though there were always chunks of toothpaste crusted in the sink and dirty socks strewn all over the place. Sort of. :)
I don't believe it. And I refuse to even think any other way. (right now)
DeleteEspecially that crusted spit toothpaste that looks drip dried down the sink....
LOL, how about pooping, not flushing and NOT WIPING, ruining all the underwear you just bought. Or taking a shower, clogging the shower and then letting it overflow all over the bathroom floor, and not bothering to tell anyone. I feel your pain!!!
ReplyDeleteOK, Arley, I am NOT going to do that one, but I may or may not have a kid or two that has actually done that. (the underwear part)
DeleteI'm going to make sure that I leave the shower curtain OUT of the tub while I take a shower though, and it's OK, cuz I'll leave my towel on the floor. (Because you'll need it to clean up my mess, right?)
Sounds good, as long as you don't come over here. :-) Oh, and I can relate to #8 well.
ReplyDeleteOh, no, of course not, Becky, we will save these special visits just for our children.
DeleteReading this just makes me glad my parents don't visit me more often! I get enough of it from my 5 kids-- I don't need my mom and dad coming over too! ;)
ReplyDeleteI guess this is what my mom meant when I was growing up and she said she hoped I had children just like me some day though?!?!?!?.
OH, Kari, it is, it is!!
DeleteCan I shove things like half eaten sandwiches in the couch and cookie wrappers under your chair? If I find any change, I get to yell LOUDLY "MINE." Do I get to use up all the batteries on everything and demand that they all get changed at once, instead of putting them on the chargers. I'm going to put dog food in your shoes, because it is too much of a chore to actually put it in the dog's dish. Oh, and can I take my socks and shoes off outside and somehow get them stuck on top the playhouse roof - yeah that was yesterday afternoon. Oh, and my personal favorite, (It is a really good thing that I love my 5-year-old) - I'm going to take their feminine products and open ALL of them and try and figure out how to shoot the cannons. sigh
ReplyDeleteOh, you ladies are making me laugh so hard!! Yes, of course you can!! You can also take their toilet paper and let it hang all the way to the floor and across the bathroom floor and take some off and just throw it around the bathroom floor. And, please do NOT flush. It seems to be VERY important to them.
Deletep.s. I thought my kids were the only ones who left weird sock balls everywhere, including outside.
ReplyDeleteOh, no, they are not.
DeleteHa ha ha! My husband would totally agree with all of this, but especially the toothpaste chunks - like everywhere!!! Ha ha! Glad to know what goes on in our house isn't just in our house :)
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I thought of another one, we are going to rake up leaves and pile them in circles all around their yard, and leave them, so their grass dies in big circles all over!!
DeleteThis is such a funny post and I love the comments also. Think I will just blog over here!
ReplyDeleteOne thing people always say "Oh you will miss it."..No. I will not. I will not miss the messes. I WILL miss my children.
I wonder if I will buy new chairs when they are gone. Our kitchen chairs are all wrecked. Carpet? So thankful we never invested a lot of money on expensive carpet. Our fridge even has dents in it! it is a crazy and wonderful life but messy.
We never had non-flushers at my house. never been an issue???
oh oh oh I got one!!! because I have teens. I am going to come over to your house and take a shower for 1 hour. Just stand there. till ALL the hot water is gone! ha!
hahahhaha!! Love the shower one!! lucky no non flushers. According to the kids, we don't have non flushers either. Our carpet is so bad, we just need to rip it out and use plywood floors...and chairs? Ours are broken too, I should take a picture of the one I'm sitting on right now, it is a bench now, with one pole sticking up...totally broken.
DeleteI will miss babies and children, NOT the messes and "I didn't do it"'s!!
LOL, Sean and I are the ones who just stand there in the shower for an hour....our hot water never runs out! The kids just clog it with toys and toilet paper and overflow it. Oh, and I am sooooo feeling the tooth paste anger. We buy the Kirkland 6 pack and they feel the need to open EVERY ONE and leave them ALL OVER THE HOUSE!!! I found one on the back porch yesterday. Of course the tubs and caked with tooth paste and all twisted out of proportion. SIGH
Deletegot another one! I am going to eat popcorn and spread it from one end of the house to the other!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to hide the popcorn under the couch.
Deleteand...when I come visit and you want a conversation I will just....grunt.
ReplyDeletehahahah! Hmmfffffff!!!
DeleteI must agree to your visiting ideas. My children are notorious for all those things and more. I'm going to break every gift they give me within the first week. I'm going to leave cups of milk in the car during the summer, along with Barbie doll heads, pickles, and wrappers. My son's new car will be the perfect place to use my art skills, crayon on the windows. Thanks for all the suggestions!
ReplyDeleteOh, my, don't even get me started with the van...We might have to go on Sunday drives with our kids when they grow up, huh?
DeleteI laughed so hard at the #2 in #1 that I almost couldn't get through the rest of the list. Save this for when they're getting married and then show it to them again. Ha!
ReplyDeleteOh, Shelly, the list got better in the comments!!
DeleteGreat idea, I'll keep the list and show the kids!
Oh my gosh this is so so so funny. ESPECIALLY funny because I'm a visual person and I actually visualized you and Tom doing all these things... with a little twinkle in your eye.
ReplyDeleteHow bout this, when I come over to visit, if you get a phone call and it's a friend of yours, I'm going to be sure to talk and talk and scream and act my worst right near the phone receiver until you have to hang up. Then I'll go back to doing something else and act like I don't need to talk to you.
Or... when you're sleeping at night and I'm visiting, I'll make sure to wake you up multiple times during the night because I need milk... or to play with me. (shows where I'm at)
Yes, Marijanna, that is a great one, the phone one, I'm doing that one too...I think I'll play the piano really loudly as soon as they make an important phone call to the doctor's office or something like that. The last one for sure shows where you are.....I am giving my little ones a little leeway, it's the big kids....who SHOULD know better!!
ReplyDeleteMake sure the socks are inside out. And leave your wet towels on the floor. We went out of town for over a week last winter and had our neighbor boys take care of our house. When we got home there was poop in our toilet that had not been there when we left. Our house stunk SO BAD!! So it's not just our own kids we get to go visit someday. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, my goodness! Did you ever tell the parents? How funny...well, not really.
DeleteI will most definitely be visiting. I will put all my wrappers behind the dressers, entertainment center or chest freezer (bbut, most definitely NOT in a garbage). I will also expect them to come pack me up for my visit! We could go on in this scenario...VERY fun, Jamie. Definitely brightened my dany and made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteOh, hahahha!! Yes, and under dressers and the couch too!! OH, yes, of course they will have to pack us!! And keep reminding us to pack our underwear and toothbrushes...which we will forget, so they will need to go buy some for us!!
DeleteHappy to make you laugh! Even happier to hear from you Suzie!!
I am going to visit when I am feeling sick and then NOT get up and go to the bathroom or even use a bucket. Well maybe not that is just too gross of a payback. I read the list out loud to everyone, almost as a warning. I needed that laugh so much. Thank you!
ReplyDelete