On Having Babies

I must start this post, 

Just to clarify, so no one gets too excited here,

I am not pregnant.

(at this time)

 This is an issue I've been wanting to write about for quite some time.

Tom and I are, and always have been,

open to life.

 What that really means

is we are open to accepting Gods gift of life

We use no artificial means to prevent God's will.

 NFP, or Natural Family Planning, is used

to somewhat prevent in times of struggle, or recovery from C-sections,

of course, from  years of experience, 

I know my body very well.

I know when I'm ovulating, 

I know the baby days

 And I know the non-baby days.

That's really what NFP is, 

getting to know your body

the way God made it.

Like God made the woman's body to want to

make babies during the baby days.
(NFP is also used to achieve pregnancy-in knowing those baby days)

 When we were first married, we struggled with infertility.

For the first 3 years, we were childless.

(except for my daycare children)
(We also had a failed adoption attempt)

 I, still, to this day have no idea why that happened, 

except for us to be able to empathize with other childless couples

to some extent. 

Maybe it was not for us, 

maybe it was for others, for the priest who blessed our womb, 

for the couple that had their womb blessed after hearing about us.

Or the couples that heard about the womb blessing and conceived after that.

 Gods will is a mystery most often

and maybe it should stay that way, we do not need to know the "why's"

Being open to Gods will 

takes complete trust.

Complete trust.

That's not easy to do in today's world.

I mean who are we to say

 "no way God, we do not want children, we do not 

want the gifts You have for us, we know better for our lives."?

Complete trust means not worrying about what we want, 

or what we think is best for us.

 (working the pro life booth at the county fair this summer)

I am at an age now,
(almost 44)
where I've had 6 beautiful children,
plus one in heaven.

We are constantly in progress
with our faith, our marriage and our family

 

I'm torn right now.
There's a sadness in the possibility of Simeon being our last baby.
a sadness of the loss of future babies not conceived.
Because we already love that baby.
We love God's will for our lives.

I love children and love each new personality God gives us.
I have those baby feelings, or baby wantings, or baby fever.

God puts those feelings there for a reason.
I know it is a gift. 

Every time I count my kids, when going places or whatever
I think, "Someone is missing..."
6 doesn't seem that many

Like, is this it?

 

 On Sunday, during Mass, Simeon

crawled up on the pew and was standing to get something out of  the 

church bag, when I caught out of the corner of my eye, 

the woman behind us, probably in her 50's,

(I'm guessing her kids are grown now,

and she is in between her own kids and grandchildren),

reach

and ever so slyly,
 rub Simeon's soft arm.

It was such a touching moment.  

My baby was a gift to her, even for just a moment.

A gift from God to me, 

and a gift from God to others.

My babies are a gift to us, always.  

As in I cannot even fathom to imagine life without any one of them.

I am torn, because, although, I have that baby fever,

I am also getting older.  (like how I added the "er")

I catch myself thinking about life without babies.

No more high chair taking up so much room in the kitchen,

No more baby toys and baby car thingy's all over the living room.

No more changing table.

And it's expensive, having kids, 

not necessarily babies, but kids?

We spend a small fortune on yogurt alone.

Money is tight. 

God always provides, He really does,

there might not be extra, but there is enough.

 And then there is my body
After 6 C-sections, that tummy...and

If we have another baby, 

there goes 2 years of my life

2 more years of giving my body

(I'm realistic here, folks, my body goes to pot)

Carrying a baby, nursing a baby, 

hard things, yes.

Really, what's 2 more years?

The years go so quickly (once they are gone)

And it is ever so rewarding and filled with blessings at the same time.

And where is the trust?

Complete Trust.

 Psalm 12- Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward.

 So I am in the middle, 

not knowing if we will ever conceive again, 

and the fears that go along with that.

And

kind of looking forward to the next stage of aging.

 I think that is being open.

Open to whatever God wants of us.

So if God wishes to give us another precious little soul

to love, we would be ever so Thankful.

And if that is not God's plan for us, 

then, well, 

we are ever so Thankful for that too.

 Genesis 1:28 - And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

NFP

Christine at the Simple Life and Pure Faith mentioned NFP the other day and linked people to this woman at Testosterhome who wrote a very interesting post on her opinion of NFP, the ups and downs. Discussing what is never discussed. She has quite a few comments, although those anonymous comments are a little annoying to say the least. Ladies, thank you for discussing this important subject, among Catholic women. Warning: This might be a little PG-13!


We follow NFP or Natural Family Planning. Yes, it is hard sometimes, well, it is hard every month for about a week. I love it though. I love knowing my body. I love when I do get pregnant I know the due date of my baby before the doctor. I love that I am doing it all natural both in the eyes of the doctor and in the eyes of God. I love that my husband shares in the responsiblity of abstaining if needed to do so. I am reminded how much he loves me every month in a different way than every day. (did that make sense?) It is a sacrifice sometimes. I think I love it mostly because it is God's way. After almost 12 years of marriage, we don't chart, I just know when it's wet, it's fertile, when it's dry, it's not. That's it in a nutshell anyway. Of course, I am regular every month, especially with the "dark factor" (if you darken the room you sleep in, covering all lights, even the digital alarm clock, you can read the signs of your body better). The hard part comes in when trying to not achieve pregnancy, the time the woman is fertile, she desires her husband in a sexual way, when she is not, she usually does not. God makes us women this way. It is a gift.



I have a bone to pick a little with the way NFP is portrayed to couples getting married. It is portrayed as another form of birth control. It is not meant to be used in that way. it is meant to be used in extreme cases of poverty and in matters of health. Am I wrong? I think it is abused. I do realize Health reasons can be many, they could be spacing children with enough time for the mother to care for each child in the way God wants her to, her mental health, her physical health, weight/size, a number of reasons. The father also comes into play, is he healthy? Some men need bigger spaces between children too, for their mental health. Small children are exhausting. I do believe in our society today, with the cost of gas and groceries rising, poverty can be an issue. I'm talking about people who use it to not achieve pregnancy for no reason at all other than they are done, they do not want any more of God's gifts. Isn't this wrong? Yes, it is the acceptable way of the Church, but isn't it abused and not used in the way it was intended?



Babycakes is now 2 and every day she is talking more and more. She is growing and learning new things. She is starting to want to see her poop after every diaper change now, which means potty training is coming soon. She is getting easier. I can understand how people say "we are done" when their youngest gets to this point when they don't have that "open to life" mentality. I guess it's such a gray area and not clear black and white as to the reasons people use NFP. Her getting easier makes me have this desire for more children. I love seeing the new personality that God gives us. I love being completely open to that new gift of life. I want a baby!


I have been a type 1 diabetic since I was 10 years old. It makes for slow weight loss, it makes for tough pregnancies but it is worth it in the long run. I also have had 4 c-sections. Being open to life means being open to hard things, struggles, pains, sacrifices. But it is our duty. For a good and not too long read, please read Humane Vitae . It will describe the beliefs of the Church on this subject.


This is my opinion on this subject. I meant in no way to offend anyone. I probably said too much and at the same time did not say enough. It seemed a good time since other bloggers were giving their opinions on the subject! I also believe it is only up to God to judge and for whatever reason people are using NFP it is between them and God. I just hope it is for the right reasons. I hope it brings them closer to God.