Total Consecration is Coming!

St Louis Marie de Montfort
I wrote about my total consecration preparation here last year.
You can order a free kit here if you need to.
Again, I will stress how much I love this and can't wait every year to do it! I think it is my 14th year doing it this time. I cannot even put into words the graces I feel afterward. My hardest year doing it was the year Ballerina Rosie was born, she was born on the 12th, and the consecration starts on the 13th of July, so I packed the book for the hospital and started it and did complete it! Will you join me this year? Again, it starts on July 13th and goes until the feast of the Assumption, August 15th. (right before this baby is born!)
To Jesus through Mary.

Inkheart

We watched this movie yesterday. It was great! I think it was listed as NR, but I'd list it as PG. it was kind of along the lines of Princess Bride, only not funny, more of an action movie. The main character, played by Brendon Fraser, has a "silver tongue" and can secretly bring any characters to live that he reads out loud from books. The movie is mainly about one specific book though, Inkheart, so most of the characters come from that book, although, there are a few things from other fairy tales and The Wizard of Oz. It was a great family movie, which are hard to find, being too few and far between!

Moths!

We are somehow being invaded by black moths!! My husband killed at least 30 (yes 30) Saturday night, and each day since, at least 10. I, before that had killed at least 5 each day, Friday, I killed 9!!! They are black and nasty! They are in our living room. We have no idea how they are getting in. We closed the registers. They are still coming. They cling to the curtain in the living room and we also find them elsewhere in the house. They are driving me crazy!! They leave this powdery, black, dusty stuff behind and they are big and ugly! I can't find the exact moth, but they look most like these black cutworm moths.

Equal

With the death of two public icons this past week, it got me thinking. It got me thinking about Heaven. The evening of their deaths, every channel tried to get the story out. One had Farrah Fawcett's life, the next would have Michael Jackson's life. It's interesting to watch, I have to admit, but was Heaven any different that night than any other night? Were they throwing a party because these great stars lived these great Hollywood lives and were American Icons? Or even worldly icons?

My answer was "No". Every day people die. That particular day was no different than any other in Heaven. Every day there are celebrations in Heaven because of people dying and making it there and every day when those gates are opened wide for another holy soul, there is celebrating. I do not think though, in the eyes of God that any soul, once making it to Heaven is any better than any other soul making it there. God loves us all with His perfect Love. God loves us all equally. We are all equal in God's eyes. Yes, more is expected from some, less from others. We all sin. We all make mistakes. Yet, we all are loved equally by our Heavenly Father.

Oh, how people's lives change on earth though, huh? I hope their souls were ready for their deaths. I caught a few couple weeks ago, some sort of home video version that Farrah had made showing her cancer journey, and she was wearing a rosary around her neck. I'm sure her illness brought her close to God. She is having a Catholic funeral also. She was not afraid to suffer, which was a good example to us all.

Lord, let Your perpetual light shine upon these souls, and through Your Mercy, may they rest in peace.

Love & Respect

This is one of the many books I am currently reading. I am almost done with it and couldn't wait to give my review of this wonderful book. I first heard of it at our Catholic Homeschool Conference last year, one of the speaking couples recommended it, and I wrote it down and didn't end up ordering it until sometime after Christmas. I skipped over the chapters in the middle that are for the man to read and am now on the chapters for the woman to read, and loving them.


"In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband." Ephesians 5:33


This book is based on this scripture verse. God tells us women to respect our husbands and He tells men to love their wives. He does not tell us women to love our husbands, because we already know how to love them. It comes naturally. Men, on the other hand, do not have this naturally. They must be told to do so. Men do have the respect, because it is what they desire most from us, so we are told to respect them.


In the book Dr Eggerichs talks about "the crazy cycle" that happens in marriages. The woman wants her husband to love her, and the husband wants her to respect him, without either, it keeps going around and around. She doesn't respect him because he doesn't love her the way she wants, and he doesn't love her the way she needs him to because he is not respected by her.


Dr Eggerichs challenges his readers to give the book a 6 week test. Try it for 6 weeks, see the changes. I didn't set out to do anything for any particular amount of time, but I broke my leg and was forced to see all my husband did to help me in addition to what he already was doing. I got into the habit of telling him how much I respected him and appreciated him and all he was doing for me. He did bedtimes, baths, cleaned up what he could, helped me to bed every night, carrying everything I needed, helping me up the stairs. At first it's hard to say "I really appreciate you and all you do for us." It is something we, as women don't necessarily need to hear from them, we don't need that respect, we just do our job and expect to be loved. For example, I don't need him to come home and say "wow, you did a super job with the laundry today honey." But he does need this: "Honey, you worked so hard today, thank you so much, you are the greatest husband and father."


I started praying it outloud with the children, with our prayers, instead of just thanking God for daddy or blessing daddy, we would thank God "for a daddy who loves us so much that he goes to work every day so that I can stay home and take care of them, and even homeschool, he sacrifices so much." Say that outloud a few times and you will feel those blessings and it will come much easier to actually tell him that.


Just the other day I thanked my husband for getting up early every day to go off to work, while I'm still in bed, how hard that must be, for him to leave when he would probably love to stay home and play all day with the kiddos!


In another book I've recently read, "In Praise of Stay at Home Moms" by Dr Laura Schlessinger, she has a chapter explaining the importance of appreciating our husbands, telling how much we appreciate them. She says men still love to be told they have big muscles!! They do! It's so true. And pretty cute, isn't it? Try it, if you must, do it through the kids, "Daddy has the biggest muscles, show us your muscles!" Watch him do it automatically!! It's so very cute!


Once the husband gets that respect, he can give the love and vice versa. I've seen this happen. It's happened in my marriage. It was not bad before, I didn't even plan to do anything, I just broke my leg and really did appreciate him so much more than I had before and still do.


The other day, my husband wrote me a love letter for no reason. (a 2 page one at that) He mentioned things he had fallen in love with when he met me and he was feeling those feelings again. Wow, I have tears as I type this, thinking about that.


Such a simple thing, telling him he's my hero, that I love him and appreciate all he does, every day. Every day. He works so hard for us. It's all for us. I've hesitated to write this, because I don't want him to read this and think it's all been made up or that I do not really appreciate him, because I do and saying it outloud (and breaking my leg did help a ton with that, God knows I'm dense, books aren't enough) has truly made me appreciate him and truly feel like he is my hero, my muscle man. (hey, he carries all the laundry baskets up the stairs for me every time they are full, what did I tell you? Muscle man!)


I can tell he can't wait to come home at night. I can tell he loves just talking with me in the evenings. I can tell he loves to go out on our monthly "dates". He loves going to bed at the same time. I can see him jumping up to help me even when I don't ask. Love, I tell you. It's what us women want.


I could probably say a ton more here, but this post is long enough, go get the book, it's a great book, you won't be sorry.


Blessings on your marriages!

Computer Crash!

This weekend while the boys were camping, our power went out only for a minute or so. We have a power surge thingy so I guess it was just a coincidence, but our computer crashed. It was only 3 years old! (almost) The guy at Best Buy told my husband that the average life of computers today is 3-4 years!!! 3-4 years, $1,000 and 3-4 years? This time it did not cost us that much as we had a lot of "components" but still, it was a lot! Thank goodness we have a charge card....except school curriculum was supposed to go on there!


Our computer guy will pick up our old computer and our new one and transfer all our files, like our pictures and "favorites" but I feel kind of lost without my pictures....I think my usual style for blogging is to post a picture and then topic it and write under the picture....can't do that now!!


My husband got the keyboard free because it went with this computer and was the last one, but this keyboard is so tiny, I think it's keys are spaced closer so no dust gets inside, I feel as I'm re-learning to type!

Father's Day

This was a picture from last year on Father's Day, (at the Minnesota Zoo) but it's a great one and he's camping with Jedi so no new one yet!


I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and father to my children. He truly loves them each for their qualities. He spends time with them and is always there. A couple weeks ago, when our friend died, we heard that he had called all his kids the Friday before he died to tell them each his latest joke. His 9 children are all adults now. I thought this was amazing. I do not have that kind of relationship with my father. I can't imagine him calling to talk, let alone tell a joke. Ever. What would I say? My mom on the other hand, has always called, she used to call every day, but as I've said before the relationship is a little strained and hey, I just don't have the time anyway with 4 busy kiddos for every day conversations on the phone. SO, now it's maybe once a week that we talk on the phone.


Growing up, my parents had those typical male/female roles down perfect. The boys went with dad and the girls were (stuck) with mom. I know that sounds terrible, but, a typical Saturday would be us girls driving 40 minutes to the nearest mall to spend literally the whole day there. We'd get there around 11am and have lunch and then shop until we got home around 7:30 pm. Where my dad would yell at my mom about spending too much and getting home too late. To this day, I hate shopping. Always have. (My mom was doing what she thought "girls" like, afterall, she liked it)


One time, I remember my dad taking me with to re-roof a house. I worked so hard. I remember working way harder than my year younger brother. I had to impress dad so he'd think it was ok to take me along more often (like every Saturday). I remember trying to impress him with my lawn mowing abilities too. Never taking breaks, doing the best job I could. Always wanting his approval. My year younger brother took a ton of breaks and complained the whole time, unless there was a riding lawn mower, then he was the one to drive it, not me, the hard working one, because he was the "boy". Dad went to my brother's games because he was the "boy" and sports were more important than my Speech tournaments.


I think I've always tried to impress my dad with doing my best always. It never worked though, I never got that attention I craved. Which is probably why I went off and married such a jerk the first time (annulled everyone, don't have a heart attack, another post another time....maybe)


Now, I guess one good thing, since my parents joined the SSPX Church, (3 years ago) I no longer try to impress him. I don't crave his attention. At all. I also have a great (counselor) husband who helps me through all these feelings. Father's Day is kind of hard, all those personal cards, they just don't fit. I ended up getting a card with Darth Vader on it and the front says something like, "For years the age old question for all dads is, Why?" and inside (it's a talking card), Darth Vader's voice comes on and says "I am your Father" along with the deep breathing too!! It's funny and it works. (I also got one for Tom and my FIL)


Now, looking back on this post, I probably said too much, but it's the way it is. Not all my relationships are perfect. I asked a friend once, "Why can't I get along with my family? I get along with all my friends, we never fight or even argue?" She said because I get to choose my friends. I hope this post is not going to scare some of you away or change your opinions of me. Life, relationships, they're hard. I love my dad, don't get me wrong. There's just not much there, no substance, I guess. (in the relationship) Does that make sense?


I am blessed that my children have the kind of father I craved. They have the kind of father that takes each one out for "daddy time" on a "daddy date". They run to him every night when he comes home. He plays tag with them and "Lava Monster" at the park. He reads with them before bed and plays video games with them. (of course) We can't wait to see him and Jedi tomorrow afternoon when they come home from the big Cub Scout camping trip!


I hope everyone's Father's day is a happy one with wonderful memories and fun times!
God bless!

Summer Busy-ness!

Jedi, in his Cub Scout uniform (old picture). He and daddy are leaving today for a father-son camping trip (first ever) with the Cub Scouts up North. My air conditioning, soft bed loving husband will sleep in a tent on the ground for his son and he's excited about it! I'm pretty excited for them both too. Things are planned for the whole weekend, so it should be a blast!
So, I will be having a "girl" weekend. My littles have plans to watch "Tinkerbell" and have their pick of supper...peanut butter buns and Cheetos. Pretty easy, huh? Ballerina Rosie wants to stay up late and watch The Sound of Music with me, so this will be the perfect time to do that. I also have plans to (finally) write out my thank you's for all the wonderful people who sent me gifts, and helped me in any way when I broke my leg, better late than not at all, right?

Jedi and Ballerina Rosie are officially in Level 3 now for swimming. They can both jump off the diving board into the deep water!! Jedi could already do that, but Ballerina Rosie, could not, it was pretty exciting watching them today! Swim lessons...done. This big pregnant lady cannot do them any more this summer, as we had to park 3 blocks away and literally walk up a slow incline all the way there and then sit in a very (hot) warm pool building, while my contractions slowed and I fanned myself with a folder or coloring book and kept my littles busy for an hour in bleachers. (with lots of stairs) I'm out of breath just thinking about it!

I had a great mail day this week and am currently reading these books (The Secret Garden is with Ballerina Rosie for her book club) along with, oh, like 4 other books. I read a lot of books at the same time. I am really into The Book Thief and can't wait each night to read it. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that it is fiction. I am not a fiction reader. I like real things. But it's pretty interesting, I'm liking it.

Next week, no doctor appts, yipee! Only piano lessons and hopefully an easy going enough week to finally put away the kids' winter clothes and put the summer clothes in their drawers.

After this next week, my list of 31 appts start. (I had one this week) I SO wanted this to not be a busy summer, but with graduation parties, fishing trips, camping trips, swim lessons, piano lessons, doctor appts, vacation, baby coming in August....It's going to fly by, isn't it?

I am someone who needs my down time. I know my kids need theirs too. Just time to be home doing nothing. Just being here. living. There won't be many of those days this summer, probably one per week...I'm praying for peace and for that one day to be enough.

Disobedience

My parents are driving down to southern Minnesota for the ordination of these 13 priests tomorrow. They will be there until Saturday. I get to grit my teeth and hear all about it on Father's day. (and try not to argue) (I'm not good at that when it comes to my faith)
Please pray for my parents.
Please pray for me.

The Old Classics!

Here are just some of our Dr Seuss classic books! I brought them out the other day for "Mary" age 4 and "Babycakes" now 3. They loved them! We've been reading them multiple times each day. I never tire of them! They were brand new to them both, as they have been on our shelf for at least a year. Sometimes it's hard to remember to take down those little things that the bigger kids are no longer into, but when we do, everything is brand new and their laughs and happy faces are just priceless!


"I love my house, I love my nest, In all the world, My nest is best!"
--Mr Bird

Marshmallows!

"Mom, your leg that was broken looks just like a giant marshmallow!" -Ballerina Rosie age 6 1/2



My leg pretty much swells to whatever cuts it off, this case my tennis shoe/sock, but if I wear a sandal, it swells to the first part of the sandal and within an hour or so of no shoes, my toes look like giant sausages and I can hardly move them! My leg pretty much feels like it's sprained all the time. Just thought you'd like to see it...not the prettiest thing in the world, and painting those toes was not a pretty sight at all, believe me!

Crazy Dreams or Signs?

When I'm pregnant, I have some pretty crazy dreams. I have nightmares. I dream unthinkable things. Things too awful to even repeat. Dreams that when I awaken, I immediately start praying to forget it. I have some pretty funny dreams too. One not too long ago, I delivered a beautiful red headed girl, with a face full of freckles already. You see, my husband would love a red-headed girl.


A few weeks ago though, I dreamed, that the morning of my C-section, I knew I was going to hemorrhage and die, but I also knew that the baby was going to live. (Somehow I guess God told me in the dream) so in the dream, we were scrambling the morning of the C-section to try to figure out what we were going to do with all the kids, how Tom was going to handle it all, well, you get the picture, right?


This dream had been on my mind for a couple weeks, when our friend died suddenly and it got me thinking about all the things this woman had to do without warning. Where do you start? If either of us dies, where does the spouse that's left, start? What all needs to be done?


SO, I discussed the dream with my husband and just kind of felt, maybe it's a sign, maybe we should be prepared, maybe it doesn't matter, nothing will probably happen, but things can happen. Usually I deliver in the normal maternity unit, but this time, because it's the 5th C-section, they are putting me in the Emergency Surgery Room on the main floor, so they can be prepared for the worst. Now, I have full confidence in our hospital and doctors, but you never know. (and I always go to Confession right before each baby!)


We are meeting with an attorney this Wednesday to discuss these kind of things. "Estate planning" is what it's called. Most of the questions do not apply to us, as we basically have nothing, but our most prized possessions, our children. We want it down on paper what will happen to them, who can or cannot see them. There are religion issues, there are sexual abuse issues, (with certain cousins), our wishes just have to be written down.


If I die, picking someone is just about impossible. With everyone, there is something that is not like me. When trying to pick, you can really see, how God gave me these children, because I am the best for them. The same with my husband. Our children are such gifts, such treasures given from Heaven, hand picked by God Himself for us. If my husband dies first, well, he does all the bills, he does everything...where would I start? I don't even know what comes due when. What would we do? Should all things just be written down, just in case? I've heard that if some things are not in both spouses names, it is a nightmare trying to fix those things. Are there things like that we need to fix, just in case?



With each child, I feel the "treasure" part so much more and it becomes heavy on my mind, to have things down on paper. To not take them for granted. These things probably will never happen. I've always been a "trust" kind of person. God will take care of us. I still believe that. I believe that everything that happens, does so for a reason, even the bad things. Like when I broke my leg, I remember laying on the ground, thinking "This will be a great time for you to sacrifice and offer things up Jamie" and "I wonder why God wants me to go through this?" But I mostly remember just accepting God's will. Period. But when there are dreams, sudden deaths, and the thoughts don't go away, are they signs to get some things in order? Well, it doesn't hurt to get our prize possessions (our children) taken care of no matter what God's will is. I've also always had the attitude, of "give me a priest, and I'm ready to die" but when there are other people depending on you, like our children, well, it's not that simple anymore.


So, crazy dreams, or signs? Maybe both. Most are crazy dreams. Unless, this sweet baby IS a beautiful little red head with freckles already all over her face...

32 Appointments to go!

Isn't this nice? My doctor's office sends me this schedule of my appts, so my countdown starts. This list does not include 4 other appts and I crossed off the ones after August 27th, because that is my C-section date! These appts are weekly NST's (non-stress tests) and Ultrasounds and OB's. Being a type 1 diabetic (since age 10), multiple C-section, almost 40 year old, they take no chances. I'm trying to look at these 32 appts in 2 1/2 months as blessings.

I'm not sure what their yellow and pink codes are though.

My OB is going on vacation next week to Germany and so she gave me a 2 week break and is not starting all this until the end of June, yahoo!

Defiance

My husband and I watched this movie last night (and the night before, as it is over 2 hours long). It is based on a true story about a family of brothers (4) who saved over 1,000 Jewish people during WWII. They hid in the woods of Germany. This was so interesting, I love reading and watching things from this era of time. So amazing that this was only 60 years ago. It's not a movie for kids, as it shows some real sad, sad things, of course. It has a great parallel to Moses and if you like movies about the Holocaust, you will love this one.

If Only

"Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." John 11:21


At the funeral I went to on Friday, the priest gave the best homily I've heard at a funeral ever. He talked about this line in the bible, how Mary said this to Jesus.


He talked about how quite often when someone dies suddenly or before their time (young), the people left behind are left saying to themselves "If only I had been there." "If only I had spent more time with him." "If I had just paid more attention to him the last time I saw him." If only. There are a million "If only's" for the people left to mourn this kind of death.


The priest said that does not matter, because Jesus meets us right where we are. He meets the person who has died right where he is. Jesus is there.


Can we change some of those "If only's" with people we see all the time, or don't see often enough? Can we forgive someone who needs to be forgiven? Can we recognize and compliment someone who needs that from us? Can we love and live as if it's our last day here on earth?


We can, with God's help. With prayer, with humility, with love.

Swim Lessons!

We have swim lessons this week and next week! So, this mama is pooped and it's only Monday!

**update: Our lessons are at a local College and they are inside, with bleachers and a million steps, so much fun for a newly 3 year old and her 4 year old sister! The lessons were cheap and warm!

My Thoughts Today

(this family friend of ours died on the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, May 29, which is why I chose this picture for today, his funeral day)

A good friend of my family died this past week. This man was only 64. He had 9 children, many grandchildren and was a beautiful example of faith. (not because of the children, but the way he lived) His funeral is today. Last night, I went to his wake. Because his family is so big, he's touched so many people in so many different ways. One daughter does daycare and her daycare children called him "Grandpa" because he was her sub. I was in line for 1 1/2 hours just to view him and go through the line of family.

This family's youngest son is my youngest brother's age, 23. Way back when my mom started homeschooling my brother (5th through 10th grade), our 2 families became good friends. My dad and this man got along great, always talking about our faith! They ate out together quite often, and visited weekly.

Well, since my parents have left our faith, they've kind of cut themselves off from everyone who is not a SSPX-er, (I blogged about it here) they will no longer go to an Norvus Ordo Mass (English Mass, or "New Mass" as they call it) so, it is not only sad to think about the loss of this family friend and the loss for his family (although he's in a much better place now) but it is sad to not see my parents there. To know they won't be there today, knowing that they would have been a few years ago. After a million "How are your parents doing?" 's last night, it is heavy on my mind and heart too. One man, half kiddingly called my dad a "heretic". Which is something my dad would have called an SSPX-er a few years ago too.

I think it brings my thoughts to when my dad dies. He has heart issues and well, if that happens before they come back in full communion with Rome, my mom will never come back either. How will things go at either of their funerals? Will their only friends be their new SSPX-er friends? What about all my dad's family who have never been to a Latin Mass? Will they even understand any of it (the situation, that it's not an approved Mass)? Will it be ok for me to go and not receive Communion? All these thoughts and so many more and so much hurt.

The other day, my mom said "Jamie, we still have the same devotions as we've always had." I said "What about Divine Mercy mom?" She said, "We have the Sacred Heart, it's the same thing." I should have said "We have both." But argued a little instead (it's in my nature) "See, you don't have the same devotions and they're not the same thing!"

This man, died on the traditional feast of the Sacred Heart. Is that not proof enough that the Holy Father is right? It is not for them. It is for me.

May his soul and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in peace.

Amen.

Darn it! Where did my paragraphs go? Really, I had nicely spaced paragraphs....so sorry! This Blogger won't let me do it!

Will They Survive?

Quick question for any green thumbs out there: Will these plants survive? One is an Ivy, the other, not sure, but I think you can tell...They get no direct sunlight, but morning light coming into the room...you can kind of tell how light it is in the picture. I just transplanted them and our entertainment center thingy needs plants and I'd prefer real verses fake...just curious if anyone knows. I'm more of a green thumb for outside plants, not at all inside!

I Can't Do "Wordless" Wednesday!

The morning Babycakes was born, I took pictures of what flowers were blooming and each year since, my iris's have bloomed, this one just in time, around 5pm that evening!
My little garden! (before our grass died) I planted zucchini, grape tomatoes, tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, and cosmos and zinnias--great butterfly attractors, come August!

The bushes right outside our church, the blooms and sun so bright they just glowed as the girls magnetized toward the flowers! Ever notice how girls do that? It's so lovely, isn't it?

Happy 3rd Birthday Babycakes!

Babycakes age 1
Babycakes age 2

Babycakes today, age 3!! Happy birthday to my sweet Babycakes!! I love you so much, you bring so much joy to my life, your sweet smile, chubby cheeks, big blue eyes, sweet nature, loving kisses and hugs and of course the way you always play with my hair! May God pour His graces upon you today!

After VBS, while waiting in the van (while mama was talking to Melissa) nice lipstick Babycakes!

VBS this morning! Busy, busy day that's for sure! My kids (I think lots of homeschool kids) never have to be awakened and boy did I have some crabby kiddos (girls) once we got home today! Early to bed tonight that's for sure! Preschool was mostly 3 year olds and really the main objective I think is to keep them busy so their mamas can help in other areas. Not so easy when the mamas are easy to find and 3 year olds love their mamas!! I had great helpers and tomorrow is a new day!

Our Pentecost muffins! Thanks Catholic Cuisine for the idea!

Jedi came down with Poison ivy or Poison oak, not sure which, but it is all over his face and arms! Poor kid!

We saw this movie this weekend! My hubby and I loved it! It was so true of Minnesotans! It was supposed to take place in New Ulm, MN, (more southern MN) which is very heavy on the Lutheran Norwegians, of course almost everyone in the movie talked with this heavy accent. But, if you go a little further into the country (like 10 miles from any major city in MN) people do talk like that! It gets a little "thick" out there in dem dare places!

What I liked best was first of all, it was PG, nothing bad in this at all. Second, it was so true of the coldness in MN. It is soooooo cold here and why do we live here? There's a scene where she wakes up and has a mountain of blankets on....just like me in the winter!! It shows her going home to Miami for a scene and you can really see how so many people in places like that are so superficial and how real and nice people are in MN. (at least I noticed the same thing when living in CA) Not that all CA people are like that, just in general, MN people are MN nice.

In order for them to film the whole movie in the snow, they had to film in Winnipeg, Canada, where it was 50 some below zero!! It is not that cold in MN, but it was very interesting to watch that movie extra on the DVD showing what they had to do to do the filming. My hubby and I were pleasantly surprised as we expected it to be soooo dumb, but it was pretty good!

Sorry for the long post, it's a busy week not sure when I'll be back!