I'm tired of double standards.
I think they are my new pet peeve.
Maybe they always have been, but I'm finally writing about it.
I'm talking women stuff.
Things we women should all support each other in.
Being open to life
Having more children
Being Catholic and living that faith
Being a stay at home, Catholic, homeschooling, breastfeeding (pumping) mama to 6 kiddos here are some things that other women have said to me over the years:
I could never stay at home with my kids all day
Breastfeeding that long is too hard
I love my kids, but I could never be with them all day like that
I could be with my kids more, but I have to work part time, I can't be with them that much, my goal might be to work only part time.
You are amazing, I could never do that. She stays at home and homeschools too.
How are you going to teach math?
Are you going to teach them all the way through high school?
6 kids? Wow, you are amazing.
How many kids are you going to have?
Are you done having kids yet?
Is this the last one?
I could never do what you do.
I'm selfish, I guess I like my freedom too much.
Now, I'm going to reverse these statements towards these non homeschooling, non stay at home working mamas who say these things to me, I would be looked at as if I were making fun of these women, I would be looked at as if I were being mean.
I could never work and be away from my kids all day
Using formula is too hard.
I love my kids, I could never be away from my kids all day like that
I can't be with my kids less, I can't work, not even part time, my goal is to be there for my kids every day.
You are amazing. I could never do that. She works outside the home full time and sends her kids to school.
How do your kids learn math?
Are you going to send your kids to school all the way through high school?
2 kids? Wow. You are amazing.
You are only having 2 kids?
You are done having kids?
This is your last one?
I could never do what you do.
I'm not selfish, I guess I don't like my freedom much.
Could you imagine if I really said these things? I tell you what, I'd have no friends. Yet, other women say these things to us all the time. Why the double standard?
It hit me this past week while in the hospital, while the umteenth nurse said some of these words to me. It's kind of insulting. It is insulting. Why can't we just lift each other up? Why do we compare ourselves constantly? Because I'm different than maybe the mainstream mama, does this give you the right to say whatever you want to me? It's like we make bigger issues out of things like cloth diapering/disposal diapers, breastfeeding/formula feeding, immunizing/not immunizing, homeschooling/not homeschooling, being open to life/not, the list goes on and on, the way we compare and get huffy about little things, because ladies, these are small things.
I have to update with this, this did not all happen at the hospital. Some of the words were said by a few nurses. I also must say, all the nurses were wonderful, caring women and we were blessed to have them (well...I did have one kind of bad one, she didn't double check his pain medicine dosage and asked if I wanted to give it to him, I looked at it and knew it was triple the amount he was supposed to have...she checked because I insisted, and I was right--thank God) Anyway, these words are (and most of you got that) said by women all over, everywhere, in stores, out and about. These words are not meant to be hurtful, they are just said, without thinking, which is why I wanted to point out the opposite statements. Sometimes I think women say these things to make themselves feel better about their own decisions, instead of just being proud of the best choices they made for their families. That's what I believe, we all make the best choices for our families. And that's why we need to support each other. Lift each other up. Stay strong in your beliefs, stay strong in your faith.
(this is a stupid post, it sounds much better in my head)