Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Tickets for Good Behavior!

About 3 weeks ago, I started giving each child tickets for good behavior. They get 1 ticket per day for being good, for obeying, for doing their jobs, not fighting, etc....They can also earn an extra ticket on school days during school time for behaving good, this includes no fighting, doing their work, not laying on the floor under the table, or all over the chair, (in other words, sitting up and working) no crying, yelling, getting mad about the work given, etc....
Once they get 20 tickets, they may pick a parent to have "Mommy time" or "Daddy time" and they may pick what they do with the perspective parent.
Shortly after starting this, we joined the YMCA, so that's pretty much what they each want to do, go swim with Dad! Jedi is cashing his in tonight, however and picked the Library with Mama!
Mary Hannah cashed hers in Saturday and went out to breakfast at Burger King and to a park with Daddy. Ballerina Rosie is going swimming with Daddy tomorrow night.
So far, I've seen them try (kind of hard) to earn the tickets. I've also seen them not try at all. The kink is that all the 20 tickets pretty much came due within a few days of eachother, so we are trying to fit in that time with each child. We don't think the kiddos need to earn their time to be with Mom or Dad, it just keeps us on track, with the new baby, things are just, well, busier. No one will be forgotten this way. (not that they would let that happen anyway) The goal is monthly "dates".
We have always tried to do these "dates" with our children. It's special time for just them alone. It can be something as simple as a walk to the park, a trip to the Library, out to lunch, a picnic, swimming, biking, frisbee golf, a trip to the mall, a movie, really just about anything. Our kiddos really love this time and often demand it (Mary Hannah) daily. She will say almost every day "I need Mommy time." "I want just me school with you!"
It is often hard to fit it in, but it's so worth it to do it. I hope it's something we do until they are grown and gone and they come home wanting that time with us. It helps with communication and being heard when often times, well, it's hard to get that with a busy house of small children.
I'd like the tickets to not come due at the same time, but for now it's working and fun for them.
I thought tickets could replace job charts for a while.
I think the tickets have been a positive reinforcement tool, I hope they keep working!
Now, my hubby and I need tickets to get a "date" with eachother!


  1. Great idea Jamster!! I have the tickets...still have not used them.

    We do not do dates with the kiddos. Guess every family is different. We fit time in when life grants it...like car trips to gymnastics etc.

    That is pretty sweet what you and your dh do!

  2. Great idea, Jamie. I was just thinking today that I need to do more positive rewards, instead of just cracking the whip!

  3. This is a great idea, Jamie! Can they ever lose tickets? Or would they just not earn them that day? My husband and I do try to spend one-on-one time with the kids. Even rotating who gets to go to Menard's with Dad is a big deal =) As family members start asking me what the kids want for Christmas, I am telling some of them (like grandparents and godparents ...) that they would *love* special time with them—take them for hot chocolate or ice cream; or to a bookstore/library or a museum; whatever. I think when there are more kids in a family, that quality time is SO vital ...

  4. Hi Jamie! Your ticket idea is great! Believe your kids will always remember those special reward times with you & hubby. I've been keeping up with you and your sweet family inc. new addition. Happy you're all doing well. Love, Nerm

  5. Clever! This is why I love reading other mom's blogs...such great ideas and tips along the way.
    Will have to discuss the ticket idea with hubby. Feeling a bit in a 'rut' these last few weeks with discipline/listening, etc. And, we struggle to make that special time one on one with the kids very often..even with just the two kids. I'm sure precious memories are made on those special 'dates' with the kids.

    Thanks again Jamie!

  6. Thanks everyone!

    Nerm!!! I've missed you sooo much and think of you often, I just pray for you when I do!

    Sarah-No, once the ticket is earned it is not lost...believe me I'm tempted so much to do that, but they would not have tickets if I did that! SO they lose the ticket for the day and when they continue to be stinkers that day other things are lost or whatever.

  7. Hello, have I commented before -- I don't think so. i've been reading you for a month or so, and love your blog. You have a wonderful family. nice to meet you.

  8. Just found your site and am appreciating your input on positive reinforcement! Thanks for sharing what had worked for you. God is so good and truly meets us where we are as mothers.


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