My mind is racing a million miles an hour, it has been since August 1st.
That's when us homeschool moms start to torture ourselves with millions of thoughts.
Thoughts of all we have to get done by the end of the month, if not sooner.
Many of us like to start earlier, it adds to the torture.
Thoughts of curriculum, old and new. did we make the right choices for the right children?
Thoughts of organizing and cleaning out rooms everything.
Ambitious thoughts invisioning in our mind of the perfect first day.
You know, the day where everyone is happy to get up early and be on a schedule and do school work
instead of playing outside. Where they all love being told what to do and how to do it all morning.
(Can't you hear it now...."Do I have to do a time test?")
Where you bake wonderful homemade cookies because you have so much time and the kids are so very happy that you are their teacher.
Ha Ha!!
I know, that will never happen.
At least not on the first day back to school.
SO, why do we torture ourselves with wanting to be perfect?
Why do we torture ourselves with trying to fit into a schedule,
after a summer of sleeping in and having no particular place to be at any particular time?
Why do we torture ourselves by thinking all the other homeschool moms have it all together and their
first days of school are going to be perfect?
We torture ourselves because we want what is best for our children.
That means praying, planning, preparing, organizing, overthinking everything.
God is helping us with our vocation.
It may not feel like it, but He is there.
He's already there on the first day, waiting for us to come to Him.
Whether you are the happy cookie mama or not.
He will meet you where you are, with all your ambitious dreams for your children and their school year.
For as imperfect as we are, we are made perfect for our children.
We are who God wants us to be at this moment for our children.
He knows we will continue to torture ourselves wanting and striving for the best we can
give our children.
Because He knows that is what makes us the best for our children.
God bless you and all your planning for the upcoming school year!
Don't forget to visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.
He will take away the torturous feelings!
You do a great job educating and nurturing your children. This is something they will appreciate for the rest of their lives, and something the Lord will bless.
ReplyDeleteWow, Jamie! Thank you, thank you, thank you. You spoke directly to my heart in this post. God is good. And so are you. I will, indeed, make a trip to the Blessed Sacrament this coming week and then I'm going to let go of the anxiety and order our books and purchase our materials.
ReplyDeleteJamie, it is so ironic that you talked about the perfect first day, where "...the kids are so very happy that you are their teacher."
ReplyDeleteMy 10-yo daughter said to me this evening, "Mom, you are really cool and I am so glad you are my teacher!" (It made my day!)
Your post is great encouragement for all us homeschooling moms - thank you! Prayers for you as well.
Blessings~
Gosh, the Mommy guilt is tough enough some days, but then the homeschool mommy guilt can be so overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteI'm just in the midst of working on lesson plans over the weekend. I looked at my stack of books that cost A LOT of money just for two kids and suddenly feel like it's 'not enough'. But then I start doing the lesson plans and see how much the class load looks (on paper any way) and decide that it probably is enough.
It all works out but I can certainly agree that at this time of year it is absolute torture. I have to remind myself the reasons we homeschool and the honor it is to do so for my children. And of course, plead the help of Jesus, Mary and every saint possible to help me!
Peace to you in the coming days and weeks as you prepare.
Great post, Jamie. I agree with you in that it's important to visit our Lord, either in adoration or Mass during this time and to celebrate the start of the school year. Sometimes, I get so stuck in the "we need to get this done" and yeah, making that first day, week, month ... PERFECT!
ReplyDeleteSo, to remind us about the why, this year, we are taking the day off of school on Sept 8 so that we can specifically go to Mass. Having to drive a distance means giving up the morning, which I dislike. But if we don't have school I won't feel that guilt.
That's the plan right now ...I'd best remain flexible!!!
Getting back in the groove of things is a big adjustment for everybody.
ReplyDeleteI love sleeping in and having a day of nothing with the kiddos. Summer vacation goes by so fast.
I think you are a great homeschool mama. Your kids are superduper lucky to have you for their teacher.
Amen! I feel the same way right now...very tortured by all the things you mentioned. Tonight is our adoration night...can't wait!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your year and God Bless.
Better get to adoration as I feel the weight of organizing on my shoulders...good reminder.
ReplyDeleteGod bless!
Ha, ha is right! I have made so many more batches of homemade cookies this summer - way more than I do doing the year, except for Christmas. We are praying every day for a successful new school year for ourselves and all the other homeschoolers out there! You are so right - a task this large should be approached with A LOT of prayer!
ReplyDeleteJamie, I have no doubt your children love having you as their mother and teacher! You are a blessing to them in both of your roles! God Bless!
ReplyDeleteThis was so good to read, Jamie. Thank you! I am very nervous to begin my FIRST year of home educating my children. I am scared of that FIRST day. How will it go? What will it be like? I am trying not to have high expectations, but I have so many hopes for this. Prayer is key. It is good to be reminded of that, though, because the planning and preparing and organizing often take over. I'm already realizing that, and this is only my first year!
ReplyDelete