I had my first OB appointment yesterday. It was only meeting with the nurse. You know where they go over everything you already know and anything new that you don't? Like, now we are supposed to heat any cold sandwich with meat on it to steaming. SO, if I get a sub anywhere, I am supposed to heat it. YUCK! That is the only thing new I learned. I did end up leaving my big 3 ring binder with all the numbers I might need and all the info she went over with me, at the clinic, on a bench, where I stopped to put on my headband and mittens. (it was a day where we ask "why do we live in MN?")
I now have a ultrasound scheduled for next Monday, so there, I will see the baby and it's little heart beating. They said they trust my dates, but they have to be sure when it is a scheduled c-section. I'm not going to argue any chance to see the baby. She also said they need to see if there are 2 babies.
Twins. I doubt there are twins. But, I have to admit, I have prayed for them. I have always wanted them. I love babies and 2 of them would be wonderful. I know, yes, it would be very hard, but it would also be wonderful. I feel selfish even talking about it, but I noticed with my last baby, that I got bigger much faster and start thinking twins right away. When I had my first ultrasound with her, I remember, even mourning the loss of not having 2 babies. Isn't that dumb? It's a baby, it's a miracle in itself and here I am wanting more! I am selfish. I take for granted the wonderful gift of life God has given us. I think God gives only special moms twins and I guess I want to be that special mom. See how selfish I am? I am drawn to twins and of course, I am bigger this time and starting to show already and thinking twins.
Give me. Give me. Give me! I am a selfish child wanting more more more.
The nurse also warned me that I will be "living" at the clinic the last 2 months of my pregnancy. She said "so basically plan on your whole summer being here." I will be there at least 2 times/per week, for non-stress tests and ultrasounds and then every other week will be with the OB and then monthly with my diabetic doctor.
I am a repeat/multiple, c-section, almost 40 year old, type 1 diabetic, high risk? Yes.
Is it all worth it? Yes.
A few people have asked in emails and my comments how I am feeling. Just assume that I am feeling like crap, unless I tell you otherwise. I don't have a better way to put that. I started gagging, 2 days ago and still have absolutely no energy to do anything. I even canceled sledding at our house with Melissa and her children ! I never cancel things!
Again, I will ask, is it worth it? YES! I can't wait to find out what this baby looks like, what his/her personality is. I am and feel so very honored that God has trusted us with another soul.
SO, I'm sorry if I sound like I am complaining (I am pregnant you know!) But, I am just trying to be honest and real. I love having babies, I hate being pregnant. It is a total sacrifice of self. Which only brings us closer to God, right?