Friday, October 31, 2008

My Final Post (For A While)

The other day I was unable to use the computer. No emails, no reserving library books, or renewing them, no computer to look up "Uganda" the current country we are learning about. No blog reading or posting and no checking for comments on my blogs or comments on comments I'd left on other blogs.


I've had time to pause. Time to think about why we blog. Why blogging is important to us. I'm sure there are many reasons out there, but I'm going to try to explain my reasons.


I've been married for almost 12 years. The first five years of our marriage I did daycare in our home. After 3 years we started having our own children. So basically, once I got married, my life has been children. Which has been a blessing and so very wonderful, don't get me wrong here. But I think we women do tend to kind of lose ourselves. Which is a sacrifice we willingly and lovingly do happily.


I don't really have time for hobbies. I have a hard time fitting in exercise time. So, when I started reading blogs about 3 years ago (thanks Sarah for introducing me to Danielle Bean),
I had contact with other women just like me, without even leaving my home! Homeschooling mothers with a strong faith. Women with the same values and morals, going through the same things I was. The first week I read Danielle Bean, she and her family had the flu, just like our family!! I thought "Hey, this woman is writing exactly how I feel right now, she is writing what we are going through!" I was hooked.


Then one day, while reading Danielle's comments, I saw one commenter signed her name "Margaret in MN". Well, being in MN myself, I had to click on her and check her out! (I'm so glad I did, she is wonderful and a blessing in my life, I know this, because I also had to meet her!)
Then that went on to Kristen at Small Treasures, Melissa, at Bountiful Blessings, and Suzanne at Blessed Among Men. I also dabbled in a few others here and there. (In fact I think I left a comment with Barbara right before she took a big break from blogging?--but I could be wrong)


My point, I think, being I started out small, only reading one blog which gradually turned into more and more.


Then my good friend Christine, (yes she has a new blog now!) started a blog of her own, well without even thinking about it or even praying about it (which is what I usually do), I went online to see if I could help her with some questions she had and ...oops! I have a blog!!


It was so easy and fun and addicting!! I felt cool. I felt accepted. People started immediately commenting and emailing me personally. I had a new confidence. I had a way to express myself. I could share ideas, I could share my faith. It's a confidence that feels really good, a confidence I still have because of this blog. A confidence that is very hard to give up.


Well, that little list of blogs I was reading slowly got bigger and bigger. Now I read my commenter's blogs along with my old and new favorite blogs.


The other day, I decided to write down 2 lists. One was a list of blogs I learn from, get ideas from and blogs of friends. (basically the ones I can't give up)


Then I wrote a list of what I'd do if I didn't blog and read blogs and check comments, etc...(all hours of the night and every free moment I have) Here's that list:

  • More time with the kids!
  • I could try to sew those quilt squares that have been sitting there for 2 years!
  • I could try to sew that soft baby blanket kit I bought for my now 4 year old!
  • I could go through my basket of recipes and cookbooks (and lots of Taste of Homes)!
  • I could read more of the many books waiting for me to read.
  • I could pray more, I could always do that!
  • I could run a much more efficient household.
  • I could have more "available" time or just more time to be quiet.

I'm pretty sure I could really think of a ton more things, but it's late and that's a pretty good start, I'd say!

Jen had a great post about an "aha" moment she had recently having to do with money and tithing and sacrifice. I couldn't help but think about TIME and how this blog world steals time that can never be given back. Time away from my kids and our family life. An hour on the computer is not worth an hour of playing outside and going for a walk in the beautiful fall weather with my kids. The hour with my kids is obviously much more important! In the long run, I can't take the blog world with me but I will be responsible for the souls of my little children.

Leaving my blog is a sacrifice, but right now it is what's best for my family.

So goodbye to all my faithful readers and lurkers. I will miss you! I hope you have enjoyed your time here. I will be praying for you. May God bless you with his abundant graces and blessings!


23 comments:

  1. Oh, Jamie! You will be missed.

    I have had so little time for blogging since the beginning of the school year. It borders on the insane that I actually feel bad about that!

    It does beg the question, though, why do I do it, anyway?

    Your post provides just the right kind of reflection that will help me answer that, and make my own decisions in this area, as well.

    I can't help but think the recent comment unpleasantness may have had a hand in turning your head in this direction, but then again, I suppose it could've been just the thing to get you thinking "God's way" for you. (ooh, I hope He doesn't decide to use that method with me!!!)

    Thank you for sharing this. And I will, most definitely, miss seeing you here!!!

    Warmly,
    Eileen

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  2. I'm in the same boat . . . I don't get tons of comments as I'd like (not for adulation, but for confirmation that anyone is reading along . . . otherwise, why bother?). So far, it's only stealing a bit of my time and I wonder how freeing it would be for me to walk away, too. However, I know that I'm in control of this. Still. I have so much more I could be doing rather than hunkering down in this chair several times a day . . .

    Jamie, you'll be radically missed, but always loved and prayed for. You are on the right track for you and your family. God bless!

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  3. Jamie, I will miss you. I'm not trying to sway you, but do you think that instead of leaving all together, you could make specific times for blogging, and the set a timer? When it goes off, the computer goes off. Perhaps a few times a week, instead of everyday. I just hate to see you go. I had a hard time with blogging for awhile, but now, I normally only post a few times a week. It's been a huge help, and I know that "connection" is a big help, especially on those long school days. But, if this is what you feel you are being called to, I will not interfere with that. I will just miss you dearly. :-(

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  4. Jamie, I rarely post or even comment now. I agree that an hour spent blogging is an hour taken away from something else. I want my kids to remember me being with them, not sitting on the computer. I will miss you.

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  5. A hole....

    Will miss you so much! Hugs!

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  6. Dear Jamie, I've been contemplating these very same things! I, too, have been spending more time away from the computer and have found such peace away from the screen. I've been so close to leaving the blog altogether, but then I page through my archives and see that it has become a virtual family scrapbook (I'm so bad about keeping real ones, although I'd like to...) I guess I'd just hate to give that up.

    You sound so sure of your choice, though, and I pray you will be blessed many times over in your new found "freedom". Thank you for all the wonderful ideas and thoughts you've shared with us through your blog! You will be missed!

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  7. I will miss you Jamie. I hope can still find a little time to visit once in a while. Maybe it can be a "see you later" instead of "goodbye." God bless you.

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  8. Oh!!!! Jamie!!! Although I TOTALLY understand, I will MISS you SO much!
    God Bless you and your family!

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  9. I walked away from blogging with a push of the button a couple months ago. Deleted the whole thing. I needed time away also. What I missed most about blogging was my connection with Jamie. I also connect with another friend of mine that lives down in southern MN. Like Jamie said blogging does connect people. That is what I like about it.

    The day she leaves I started up again. The blogging world is strange and it does have to stay in check or it will consume those precious minutes. That would make a good post on what we do with our time. I am guilty of watching too many movies. I am guilty of reading too much. I am guilty of playing too much. All in balance.

    I did talk to Jamie over the phone and I could tell in her heart this is the right thing for her now. She is right about us stay at home mothers. We need to stay connected. Women need that more then men.

    I will miss your blog Jamie. I have learned a lot from you.

    However, I am blessed to know you personally and will get to see you twice a mo. at our book club.

    Blessings to you and your family.

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  10. I hear what you are saying! I haven't been around your blog too long, but I will miss checking in with you. God Bless and please pray for those of us discerning our own place on the internet.

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  11. Jamie, It was your blog that connected me to you, which now is the best friendship ever! I blog, and have learned that it is okay to go a few days without posting. I use it as a diary of sorts and a way to show my extended family what we're up to. Anything beyond that is just for fun. In otherwords it is mostly therapy, so I can't quit now. But because of this introduction to blogging, my dad - a deacon - now has a beautiful blog I administrate for all his homilies, which has become a wonderful resource for his parishoners. So you're little blog has blossomed into a plethera of friendships and fruitful other things. So know that your blog, while it existed, was somehow part of God's will. Now God is sending you on your NEXT mission!

    God Bless - and I'll see you later!
    Melissa

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  12. I will miss you but I know how to find you. I can stalk you if need be!

    Blog or no blog, you will always be a friend of the heart.

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  13. I am just getting to know you:( But.. I do know what your saying.. I've been married nearly 16 years and I have been a mom for almost all those years.. so I know how you feel about that.. we lose ourselves sometimes.

    I too have had to keep my reading of others blogs to every other day.. or I read a few each day and comment just that one time, if I have more time then I do more but if I don't.. I always rest easy knowing that these are other women doing the same thing as me and they will totally understand.
    I blog for my own therapy.. it is a way to get out feelings I have inside and I need to remind myself sometimes that I'm blogging for me.. if others care to read.. that is great.. but in the end.. I began it as a way to get my feelings out and sometimes I have to remind myself that.

    But, you have to do whatever you feel is right for you and I totally get that and although I will miss getting to know another Minnesota mom.. I understand and respect your decision.
    Blessings:)

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  14. I so understand and have thought of doing the same! God bless you!

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  15. Jamie, I understand what your struggles with time are, but, shucks, I will miss you more than you can know. Your blog has always been such an encouragement to me. You are a blessing in the truest sense of the word and I can only wish you God's best blessings on you and your family. Nerm

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  16. Jamie - while I love reading your blog, to see you in person is so much more fun! I'll miss your blog, too. You did help me focus more on the saints, feast days, and my faith - for that, I thank you. God Bless you on this new path.

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  17. I know I've only know you a short time, but I feel like even though we've never met I found a wonderful Catholic friend. Your blog was always the first thing I checked after email each day. It always brightened my day, encouraged me, inspired me, and made me a better Catholic.

    I will miss you and your blog! I hope and pray, we can still keep in touch by email sometimes? Yes? Please? :)

    Your blog was my favorite Catholic blog. It inspired me to pray more especially the rosary. Thank you for that.

    prayrosary4life@aol.com

    I will be praying for you and your beautiful family!

    Love,
    Maria

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  18. Dear Jamie,
    I read these comments and was struck by the genuine affection that so many feel for you. Your blog has been a blessing to many, and while I completely understand and admire your reasons for leaving it behind right now, I had to tell you I'll miss you too!

    I agree with the commenter who said your blog was certainly a part of God's plan, if only for a period of time. And of course it may be again in the future.

    One of my favorite things about your writing is that you truly focused on your faith. Your love for Jesus (particularly in the Eucharist) really shone.

    God bless you and your family!

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  19. I'm not reading your other comments so this is fresh off the cuff. I disagree with you.

    Your four year old loves YOU, not some dumb old blanky she never got attatched to and would only add to your laundry pile. Magazines, recipes, and cookbooks take up space, collect dust, and add to your "guilt surplus" of "shit I don't have time for". Besides, you can just look them up on the computer...voila, done. Those quilt squares will NOT make your life more wonderful. Give them away to some boring old grandma who doesn't like computers and get back to doing what you love, what keeps you fresh, cool, brain active, and makes you a better, more reflective mother. You wrote that giving up your confidence is a hard thing to do...well, DON'T. You seriously WANT to be a less confident, simpering, whiney martyr? Sorry to be so harsh, but blogging doesn't have to be some crazy burden. It can just be something you do when you have some extra time (at night, when everyone else is snoring, for just a little while, even). You don't have to check out ANY BODY ELSE'S blogs, duh. You can just journal and check out your favorite ones, like mine. It really bugs me that people take blogging so dang seriously. Just do it. No regrets, no worries. Journaling your thoughts is like a retreat. Everyone needs retreats, right? Geez, it's gotta be better than those stupid TEC things and it's way less expensive and fakey. Plus, you don't have to participate in skits, if you don't want to.

    Fine, another one bites the dust. I'm getting so lonely here in blogworld.

    I don't mean to knock your decision if you really think that your time on the computer is truly cutting into your kids' time (although I sincerely doubt your kids are hanging around, with dirty clothes on and no food in their bellies, going, "My mom hates me and loves the computerrrrrrrrrr!".) But all things in moderation and if you think you can't moderate your blogging to a few hours in the evening, mo power to ya.

    I'M JUST SAYING that it would be a darn shame if you quit it all together (but with swear words and more sass, just for color).

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  20. P.S. I just about died when it looked like +jmj+ called you an "A hole" hahahaha! For a minute there, I didn't feel so bad about the swear words...naw, I don't really feel bad about them. Leave my swear words alone. I don't care who sees them.

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  21. Jamie, thinking of you, and praying for you and your family.

    Could you please pray for me too?

    1)Hubby and I are trying to see if we can afford a trip to Nebraska at the Pope Paul Institute for a second surgery to remove the rest of the endometriosis. I had my first surgery in February of this year, which is when I was first diagnosed with endometriosis stage four. Hubby and I have been blessed to find a kind and caring napro tech doctor who told me the first surgeon (a secular doctor, not napro tech) didn't do a good job at removing all the endo. I was told more surgery is in my future.

    2)Hubby and I are looking into adoption, but it is very expensive. Right now we can't afford it. Please pray that if it's God's will for us to adopt, we will be able to find the money needed. I feel that adoption might be my only chance at being a Mom and I want to do God's will and give a needy child a good home.

    Jaime, there is a lovely shrine in Ohio called Holy Love. It has been called the Lourdes of America. I was told about it by a woman at the Franciscan Chapel in my hometown who has been there. I visited the website at: http://www.holylove.org and found these beautiful rosary beads. The rosary is called the rosary for the unborn (to help combat abortion) and each Hail Mary on this rosary is in the shape of blue teardrops with a tiny replica of an unborn baby inside each bead. The Our Fathers are in the shape of blood drops that make a tiny cross. The Blessed Mother told the visionary at this shrine that when we pray the Hail Mary lovingly on each bead of this special rosary we will save an unborn baby from being aborted.

    I received this rosary last week and love it. Okay, maybe I can't have children of my own, BUT hopefully I can save some of the unborn babies by praying with this special rosary!

    I thought you and your readers might like to know about this shrine and this special rosary.

    May God Bless you all.

    Love,
    Maria
    rosary4life@aol.com

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  22. Wow what a new look you got there. I like cranberry colors.

    SO glad the car thing work out for you!

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